Forgiveness is always possible !

Forgiveness is always possible !

I have just been listening to a song by Sugarland called "Stay:

It is for me a reminder of days long past.
It is a beautiful song that gives some insight into the heart of "the other woman".

Just over 11 years ago ..I met the "other woman" in my husbands life.

We were married at the time and had 3 beautiful boys . Anyerin 5, Rhys3 and Seth 15 mnths old.
My girlfriend found out that my husband was having an affair.
Affair is such a fancy,poetic word isnt it...lets call it for what it really was...He was committing Adultery.....(in some countries still a stoning punishment ,even today).

I cannot put into words the pain that I felt . I couldn't believe that this man whom I loved so much could do this. Not only to me, but my children , our family.

Once I found out and after weeks of denial finally confronted him with what I had found out ..he left our home . He told me that he could not stay ,now that I knew the truth. My eldest Son watched his Daddy walk down the steps with his suitcase in hand to the background tears of his devastated Mummy.

Not long after I found I was pregnant with our 4th child(my beautiful Beth).

As some of you know I am a Christian and I so leaned on my faith in God during this time. I prayed believing that he would come to his senses snd return home. I asked God to use everything at his fingertips ( fair or unfair.....), to bring my husband back to his senses......lightning bolts would even be permissable Lord!

After a few months of separation , I was told that he had broken things off with this young girl and that he wanted to return home . (Of course as long as I was ok with the fact that he told me that it would probably happen again as he just knew he could never remain faithful to one woman...ever.)

One night I was sitting on my own ,after my little people had gone to sleep and I was crying to God. I was talking to him about my love for my husband and my broken heart. I switched the tele over and there was a church service on. For a minute, I was sure I saw "the other woman" in the congregation in front of me.

I looked again and found I was mistaken. ...and then God gently spoke to my heart. He said to me......"What if I brought her to your church? What would you do?"

I quickly replied ,"not my church Lord...no ..not my church."

"You must forgive Her..."..he gently spoke.

I took a deep breath..."Oh , I can forgive Her LOrd...but..I never want to see her again!"

"Oh?", He said."...How would you feel if on judgement day you said you were sorry....and then I said to you...Oh, I forgive you ....but I never want to see you again? ".

"But thats different", I replied.

He spoke again," Is it ?....The way you judge others is the way you will be judged".

I broke down in tears as his words played over in my head.....

FORGIVE HER!!

It took many tears before my God and many hours of emptying my rights for justice until I finally succumbed.

My God would not ask me to do what he wouldn't give me the strength to do.

So a few days later , I drove to "the other womans place of work".

As I walked inside I felt quite sick and I had a huge pain in my stomach as I saw her behind the counter.I walked up to her and asked her if she had a few minutes.She had panic written all over her face...as she nervously said "yes".

We walked to the side of the room. I was breathing heavily, relying totally on God to give me the words and at the same time feeling like I could literally tear this womans head off ( it was very surreal....but I knew that God had told me that I must do it..and the reasons why.) God gently spoke to my heart again and he told me that I was going to be ok.

I began.." My husband has told me about the relationship you were having with him, and he has also told me that it is finished..is that true?"

"Yes" she replied.

"You love my husband , don't you ." . I spoke calmy.

"Yes" she said.

"I can understand why you do.."I said"..he makes you feel that you are the most important person in the world when you are with him and you feel like the star on top of the Christmas Tree, when he holds you"

"Yes" she replied and then her eyes welled with tears.

My heart was like jelly as I saw her pain. He had used both of us. She was in pain as I was. For the first time , I saw her ..through the eyes of Jesus.

She was no longer the enemy but this wounded little girl who had been used .

I began to cry too, as I put my arms around her and told her that I forgave her.

I told her that she must never do anything like this to another woman again.

She sobbed on my shoulder as she said , "I am so sorry..."

We stayed in an embrace for about 5mins and then I said goodbye and I left.

When I returned to the car , I went to mush. I couldn't believe that I had done it. I felt like I had just carried a pallet of bricks up a hill.

I sat in the car and sobbed as I thanked God for giving me the strength to do that ...but more so ....for the way he had softened my heart and allowed me to see her heart.

There is a scripture in the bible that is my favourite verse.....it says...

" I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength"

That day I found out what doing things in HIS strength can really do.

I know that whatever he asks me to do or whatever I have to face in this world ....

HE will always give me strength to be able to do it.!


Jewell xxx

written Friday, March 07, 2008