Just gotta share this post from my beautiful friend Sarah ..I love it so much....
"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things...
...They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create.
They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy?
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to
think they can change the world, are the ones who do!
There has been so many things that have happened in the past year. Things that I am not at liberty to share with you at this moment in time. One day I know, I will be able to shout it from the roof tops but until then I will stay at Gods feet and lean into him as he fills me with his deep love and peace.
These things have shaken the very foundations of everything that I have believed.. Everything that I have held dear to me as truth, have been absolutely blown apart.
HE is rebuilding me, rebuilding my foundations...rebuilding my hopes and my dreams through his beautiful love. This love feels like literal waves of love that are washing over me. Its so hard to put into words what he is doing...but oh the remodelling.. he has me like clay in the potters hands as he shapes me moulding my heart into HIS heart as the very centre of my being.
I did not know that I myself was like a Religious Pharisee who pointed out others sin and put loads on their backs that they couldnt carry and yet through his love he has shown me that this is who I was at the very core.
In Jeremiah 31:3, It says...
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:"I have loved you with an everlasting love;I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
He has shown us LOVE , LOVE AND MORE LOVE.. How can I not do the same to those around me.
God has sent beautiful friends that bring his heart to me and this is one of these occasions.I was just sharing with a young friend and this was her response...
"I have no words in my heart at all to even say to God with this .. its just so wonderful that no matter what it is that even humans would give up on a person... God works through the highest walls, for the ones he loves.
There have been so many events in my life that seem to turn my world upside down and they come one after another.... sometimes i look at myself at different stages and look back and think how much I've changed that sometimes I seem like a completely different person... but one thing is stable.. and that is HIM
...even the promises he gives me from so long ago... though I forget them or push them aside thinking its been too long.. he always proves faithful
He's the only thing I can cling on to
and he proves himself faithful and true time and time again"
Times like this remind me of the song called "THE MORE I SEEK YOU" BY KARI JOBE
"The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming"
I had a great day today , Beth, Meg , Ben and James went to pottery while I browsed bookshops. I was looking for a book called "Every Man in This Village is a Liar" by Megan Stack. Written by a 25yr old national correspondent for Los Angeles Times about her journey of being a journalist thrust into the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
I saw an interview with her about the book a few nights ago.
Megan Stack writes in a way that you can see the scene before your eyes as she shares.
I am loving reading it and I have only got through the first couple of chapters.
I have always had a love for writing and I love that a woman so young got to play a vital role in reporting this so called, ~"war on terror".
Quote ~ Megan Stack
""Only after covering it for years did I understand that the war on terror never really existed. It was not a real thing. Not that the war on terror was flawed, not that it was cynical or self-defeating, or likely to breed more resentment and violence. But that it was hollow, it was essentially nothing but a unifying myth for a complicated scramble of mixed impulses and social theories and night terrors and cruelty and business interests"
At the end of her Prologue, Megan finishes by saying......
"As it turned out ,the first thing I knew about war was also the truest, and maybe its as true for nations as for individuals: You can survive and not survive, both at the same time."
I bought my copy for $39.99 at Angus and Robertson Bookshop .. but I have just found it on Amazon for $17.79 .. you can click on this link to order a copy for yourself.
Sometimes when its late at night and my home is still my mind wanders. It journeys to many different places , memories of my yesterdays ,sometimes recounting my day and imaginings ,my hopes, and my dreams for my tommorrows.
My rememberings are always wrapped up in my children and lots of fun times. Tonight I put on a taped bed time story for my little boys to listen to. It was called Magic Shoelaces.
It was a story that I used to listen to with my 4 eldest children when they were little. As I sat on the edge of my sons bed, I watched my boys faces light just the same way that I had seen before with my older sons. I mouthed the words as they came out of the recorder and to my amazement I even remembered every word to the funny song at the end..(be careful what you wish for..you wish for ..you wish for ...be careful what you wish for ..it might come true!!!)
Its funny how my brain can't recall mathematical equations, the right spelling of words,or even where I put the car keys an hour ago and yet silly songs from the era of the donutman, psalty the singing song book, S club, and many more..(believe me, my heads full of them hehe!) are so fresh in my head.
All these songs are attached to my children and my heart is absolutely filled to brimming over as I breath in every memory.
I dont want to miss any of this, not one single day. I don't care if I struggle financially , if I have to sell my home as long as I can live every moment I can with my children. Time goes by so fast. My 2 eldest are all grown up and my 3rd son is preparing to leave the nest very soon . There is nothing I can do to slow that process down and it saddens me that it moves far too quickly.
I thank God every day for the blessing of my children, each one has a special place in my heart that seems to make it burst at the seams...and then the unbelievable happens one of your children has a child and somehow your heart finds a way to stretch a little more and amazingly keeps beating without imploding!
Little Zev , my first grandchild has taken up residence in my heart amongst my children
and added to this is my son,Anyerins wife and Zevs Mum, Jamie and lovely Miriam ,Rhyss girlfriend/fiance of 7 yrs. My heart feels like its spinning out of control and there are days that I can actually feel it beating inside of my chest.
I pray that my heart will not self combust as each child marries and has their children. I hope my heart can contain it... just think..7 children with 7 spouses ..thats 14 ..now if every couple has 2 children ...thats 14 grandbabys and 14 extra places in my heart.. wow .... thats 28 people to love and hold in my heart...now if there were 3 grandchildren ... thats 21 grandchildren plus 14 equals 35..CRIKEY!!! Lord expand my heart now....LOL!!
If you are contemplating having children, I can highly recommend it.. be prepared , however for you never to be the same. Having children changes everything...nothing will ever be the same again in your life, you will never have a life starved of love and cuddles or smiles or giggles.I pray every day that as much as I have learnt to hold my children tight, that through Gods grace I will know the time to be open handed with them in order to let them fly and be all that God has called them to be.
Enjoy these days , make the most of every moment ..one day you will blink and these days will have gone .
Slow down........YOUR GONNA MISS THIS!!
After lots of Curiosity and many questions on how Anyerin got to Quest as their Worship Director..I thought it would be easier to repost an earlier blog I had posted...So here it tis..........
..
I thought I would share a little of the journey our God has taken me on with my first born son, Anyerin.
When Anyerin was about 4 years old God spoke to me through a passage in the bible in Samuel. It is where Hannah(who was barren) prayed to God for a child.
Hannah was desperate for a child and promised God that if he gave her a child that she would give him back to God. After he was weaned she took him to the temple and gave him to the Priest Eli to raise in Gods service.
In Verse 26 she says to Eli, 'As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. 27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.'
When I read that verse God illuminated it to my spirit ...(some would call it a light bulb moment)..but for me my heart beat faster and I knew that God was asking me to give my son, Anyerin ,completely to Him,for his whole life to be dedicated to the service of the Lord.
I sat down in my loungeroom in Unanderra ,NSW , ....Australia.... and gave him to my God. I cried as the reality set in of what God would require of him. Hannah gave Samuel to Eli the priest to raise at a very early age , I knew that I would not have to do that but I always knew that Anyerin had been set apart from that moment on.
God had big plans for my Son.
Now , at the right time , I dedicated each of my 7 children to the Lord and I promised my God that I would bring each one up teaching them about him and his love for them.
Over the years , each one grew up beautifully ...we had our hardships, including the 4 eldest childrens Father leaving when they were very young. Anyerin was 5 ,Rhys 3, Seth 15 mnths and Bethany yet unborn 3mnths in my womb.
It was at this time God was the most evident in our lives. With so much heart ache in our lives ...the little people and myself clung to God. If the children were crying , missing their Daddy ..we would go to God and ask God to talk to Daddy and show Daddy what he was doing was wrong. Doing that gave us so much comfort as we had someone who could work for us on our behalf. The presence of God would settle on the children. You could actually feel his presence in the room there with us. It says in the bible ...Psalm 68:5-6
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families .....
and Psalm 27:10 says
Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
These scriptures came to life as I prayed them over the children continually.
Anyerin was the big brother , the patient one, the understanding one,the helper..he listened to me as he would find me crying over his Father and he would have wisdom beyond his years as he prayed for his Daddy and I. God gave him to me as a very special gift. I never forgot about the prayer of Hannah that I prayed , giving Anyerin to God and I kept it in the back of my mind. I knew that God had bigger plans........
It was around this time that Anyerins gifts in music became apparent .
He picked up the piano quite easy and he had a little ukelele that he loved playing, thus began his love for music.
ANYERIN AT 4
ANYERIN AT 6
When Anyerin was about 10 years old, I moved up to ....Newcastle.... and remarried.
I gave birth to 3 more children, Meg and our twins Benjamin and James.
In Anyerins early teens he began worship leading at his schools chapel services.
He , Rhys ,Seth and Bethany become a huge part of the chapel services until they all left the college .
Anyerin was School Captain 3 years running as the school entered into Yr 11 and 12 for the first time.
During this time Anyerin joined the youth worship team and ministry team at our church. His first youth Pastor saw the gifts in Anyerin and took him along with him to minister to people in jail through song. He sang and played at youth and Sunday nights and also the main Sunday morning services.
But...God had bigger plans....
He continued at school chapel and once a year would worship lead at a combined schools ministry conference called Empowering.
But still God was not finished with him ...he had Bigger plans....
Finally when he left school he was given the opportunity to be part of the worship team leading worship at an annual Conference held in the....Newcastle.. ..City.. ..Town Hall.... ,called 'Unleashed'.
The following year he was asked to be the Music Director of Unleashed and has been doing so for the past 3 years.
Still God said BIGGER......
During this time he was also asked to lead a team in worship to go tothe Underground Church of Vietnam and teach the youth modern worship songs and worship techniques as well as music dynamics. Jamie Lea, Rhys and Seth accompanied him along with a team from ....Australia..... He has just returned in 2008 from his 3rd year and is overwhelmed at the work God has done in these beautiful people since the first year he met them.
God had not finished with Anyerin yet...He still had BIGGER PLANS.....
Now Anyerin started dating Jamie Lea in Yr11 . They dated for 4 years and December 2006 they were married.
MARRIED AT 19
During their courtship I would often share with Jamie Lea, the story about the prayer of Hannah, that I had prayed for Anyerin all those years before. Year by year I felt that God was preparing me more and more for the time that God would take him from me.
Especially in the past 3years at various times I felt the time was near. God was speaking to my heart at every Unleashed Conference and I would tell Jamie that it wouldn't be long and God would take him. I had the impression from God that God would take Anyerin to a Big church somewhere to lead the worship . I did not know where, but I used to tell Jamie quite often ,as I felt each time, it would be soon.
Once I thought it was with Phil Pringles church (CCC), once with Hillsong ....and once even to CapeTown, South Africa. Each time I was mistaken but I knew that it would be a Big church somewhere. I was just mistaken each time on where. I had a real feeling from God that the time was near for Anyerin to be taken.
As any Mother does , she often takes matters into her own hands , and I began searching the internet for job vacancies for worship leaders /music directors.
All the Australian jobs were part time and mainly voluntary. God had clearly told me that Anyerin would be able to use his gifts and talents that He had given him in a full time capacity.
I clicked on a side link on the page that talked about overseas jobs...and then I clicked another link and then another and there I came across a list of about 30 positions at various churches. The first was a stiff collared ,Anglican looking church and I passed..no Lord , thats not the one..I can't see Anyerin there.
I clicked to the next one..........Quest Community Church.. ..Kentucky..,..USA.....
Everyone was wearing jeans and seemed to be very down to earth ..Oh my Lord I thought , this looks like a bigger version of our church. I clicked on the job description and there it was ...it was almost as if the job was custom made for Anyerin. Everything he had ever done was in the must haves for this job.
I felt my heart sink.....this is it, Isn't it Lord!
............................
During this time was the lead up to Unleashed and Anyerin was leading a team of about 10 and having many rehearsals etc.. in between working and doing our own church worship. He was really tired when I told him about it. Thanks Mum he told me , but right now, at this time I am called to our church here in Medowie and to Unleashed. I told him that I would send the info to his email anyway to have a look.
He continued with his busy schedule ...church, work, unleashed etc...
Then Jamie talked to him about it and they prayed together.
One night Anyerin came over and asked me if he could use the computer .He said to me' Mum , I don't want you to make a big deal of this but....I am going to send my resume to ....Kentucky.... about that job'.
Gods plans were oh , so much bigger than I could have ever thought or imagined......
I turned to Jamie on the lounge and raised my eyebrows...I took a deep breathe and just for a second the world stopped. I let out my breathe and said 'Oh thats good ....(yike! I thought ..this is it...)
Several months .. after much patience, much endurance , another trip to....Vietnam...., many prayers ....and several web cam interviews .Anyerin was told he was on a short list of 7.
He had first put in the application in November and it seemed to be taking such a long time.....It was now June.
People would tell him to pull out as it was taking too long...after all what were the church waiting for ?
But you see..they didn't know , that Our God Had BIGGER PLANS.
Anyerin said to me ..Mum , I'm not waiting on the church ..I am waiting on God. Its all in his hands......
God was teaching him and us so much in all this. To be patient ..teaching us endurance, wisdom and to trust in him alone.
All the while Anyerin and Jamie felt that God was telling them yes, the job was theirs.
It was just a matter of time.
Around July 23rd , 8 months after his first application for this job,Anyerin was offered the position of Music/Arts Director of QuestCommunity Church, Kentucky, whilst he was in ....Vietnam.... he graciously accepted.
How Awesome is God.He knew the plans that he had for Anyerin and Jamie and they were Bigger then Big they were huge!
In the bible,it says in ..Jer 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.'
God is so a God of His word!
(Just a footnote to this blog...Anyerin and Jamie are now in Kentucky at Quest .
I asked them the other day..'Is it all that you expected it to be?'
They replied , ' God has blessed us so much more then we could ever hope or imagine. We really can't put into words what God is doing over here..except to say that everyone we talk to breathes fresh life into our spirits .'.
If that was not enough God has chosen this time to pour out even more blessings to Anyerin and Jamie
In March 2009 ...Jamie will give birth to their first child....Now how awesome is that!!!!!!
God is truly amazing and I know he has been preparing them for such a time as this.I know that God will use Anyerin to lead people into His throne room to worship God as He truly is . It will be wonderful to watch this journey unfold before our eyes.
WELL HERE WE ARE THE 23RD FEB 2009 . I HAVE JUST FINISHED WATCHING ALL 3 SUNDAY SERVICES AT QUEST WHERE THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED ANYERINS FULL TIME APPOINTMENT AS WORSHIP DIRECTOR. IT HAS BEEN AN AMAZING JOURNEY AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING OVER IN EARLY MAY TO VISIT THEM AND THEIR LITTLE BUBBY (WHOM THEY NOW CALL "LITTLE FOOT".)
I WILL ADD ANY UPDATES AS THEY ARISE.
OK ... WELL HERE IT IS 4TH JUNE 2009.
LAST WEEK I GOT BACK FROM VISITING ANYERIN AND JAMIE AND LITTLE FOOT WHOSE NAME IS NOW ZEV JACOB DRURY.
I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS HOW IT FELT TO HOLD MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. HE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND LOKS SO MUCH LIKE HIS DADDY.
I WILL UPDATE IN A LITTLE WHILE , AS MUCH AS I CAN. MY JOURNEY TO QUEST ANDHOW, SINCE THE TIME I HAD THERE , GOD HAS LITERALLY TURNED THE TABLES ON MY LIFE.
I JUST WANTED TO POST A FEW PICS OF LITTLE ZEV AND ANYERIN AND JAMIE.
UNTIL NEXT TIME..GOD BLESS, JEWELLXXX
Another update...
In regards to my note on Anyerins journey to Quest.Thank you so much everyone who wrote a response to my post. You bless me so much. I take no credit for this story what so ever ..it has all been an amazing work of God. What is so beautiful to me is that it wasnt until I wrote the story down that I could see Gods complete handiwork in it. Isnt that just God though.. he leads us just a little step at a time.. I guess if we could see HIS plan from beginning to end our heads may blow off in amazement of Him. To all of you from Quest.. I feel that we have all been cut out of the same batch of cookie dough and I cant wait till the day that I get back there with you all to share the next season of this journey.. already we are in our 6th week of Quest Outreach here on Sunday nights at our local community Centre. It is there that I have been able to share the messages that you have all sat through.. we are in our last weeks of Loaded Questions. It has been amazing as I see people back here at home respond to Gods word through the ministry of Quest. Already 9 people here have already given their lives to Jesus through the ministry of Quest. (7 in one week alone!) Thank you all for everything you do.. from your servants heart . to your obedience with tithing, your prayers for your church there has enabled people all around the world to have fresh living water available to them through the internet and recordings. May the Lord provide for you everything you need to accomplish the work that he has called you all to do. I thank God for you from the bottom of my heart. God bless, Jewell x
OUR LAST FAMILY CHRISTMAS
TRADED IT ALL FOR LOVE
LEXINGTON ~ QUEST COMMUNITY CHURCH
PETE AND JACKIE HISE PASTORS
ANYERIN TODAY AT QUEST
IN THE MEAN TIME PLEASE GO TO www.questcommunity.com and watch previous services through media player or log on to the website 5 times a week to watch the services live. Ask me what the times are in Australian time if you are interested.
May God bless you , Jewell x
ANYERIN AND THE TEAM AT QUEST COMMUNITY CHURCH TODAY
Some of the songs I have come across since Anyerins been at Quest are available on albums through the links below....
Jesus Freak DC TALK
~
You might know about Jesus but do you know HIM.
Do you really know Him and does He know you?
I dare you to move , to look at these questions below and answer them honestly.
In order to believe something we need to have evidence.
With Heaven and Hell hanging in the balance we really need to look at the evidence of our spiritual life.
Examine the evidence and DO something about it..
God made us to love HIM but there are barriers between us and God.
Fear, voices from the past, wrong information of who he is, pride, will all keep us from really knowing him.
Lets break it down.......
There are 5 Marks of a Follower of Jesus.
Answer these questions honestly and then respond .
The 5 Marks :
1. Do you have a clear moment of the time when you accepted Jesus forgiveness into your heart and when you gave him your life?
2. Did you experience a change since that moment and do you now have a desire to follow and obey God.
3. Do you have a lasting joy that operates independantly to your circumstances?
4. Do you feel permanently forgiven of past, present and future sins?
5. Are you fully confident that you will go to Heaven and fully aware of what happens next?
Do you have the confidence that you know Jesus and that he knows you ?
The Bible tells us that we can know without a doubt .
These questions are so important , and you need to answer them while your heart is still beating this side of Eternity.
Look at the evidence of your answers to these questions and then you have a choice of 3 responses.
Responses:
1st response: Blow it off! You do nothing about it at all, after all, these questions make you feel uncomfortable and you dont really care much about it anyway.
2nd response: Roll the dice. Say ...look I hear what you are saying, but I have my own take on this as the voice of pride says, "I'm going my own way, I'm pretty sure I have figured this thing out, I will take my chances , roll the dice and do nothing.
3rd response: Do something about it..
Test yourself.
Does the evidence in your life prove that you are a follower of Christ?.
This deserves a response.
Heaven and Hell are real places and the choices that we make here on earth determine where we will spend our eternity. If we know Christ and He knows us we will spend our eternity with him if not we will spend it apart from him in Hell.
Do you know that he doesn’t want your spiritual resume (all that you have done ) nor does he want you to be good enough. He doesn’t want you to clean yourself up , he doesn’t want you to come to church, he doesn’t want your money, he doesn’t want you to behave to make him happy, he just wants...YOU!
Stop running around doing things that you think will make him happy and just give Him you. He just wants your heart.
Yes just YOU!
HE made YOU to LOVE YOU , so that you can have a relationship with him and be with him one day for all Eternity.
My prayer is that you will do something about it, not just so you can see the people that have gone to heaven before you , but that you can meet Jesus as he really is. He made you to love you .. its the reason you exist!
To Give your heart to Jesus and recieve His forgiveness and Spirit you can talk to him and tell him something like this....
Jesus,
I know that I have sinned, messed up and ignored you in this life and I need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died for my sins on the cross. I want to turn from my sins and give my life to you. I now invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as Lord and Savior.Help me to be able to do that as I recieve your gift of eternal life from you.
In Jesus' name. Amen.
*If you prayed this prayer,please let me know. I would love to chat with you. Jewellx
I have a dream.
I dream of a church in my community with a redemptive heart.
A church where people could go and be truly loved for who they are ...not for what they do or don't do.
A place where a young teenage boy could openly share his addiction to pornography and that he would find others applaud his courage and honesty and come alongside him to help him combat his addiction , rather then scold and shun him.
I have a dream.
Where the drug addict, the prostitute, the homeless and the lonely would be embraced and loved on , in a way that would bring them undone. I have a dream. Where the homosexual , the hetrosexual , the bisexual, the adulterer would be all treated the same. Where the lines are erased and search and rescue teams go out to bring His Love, His Hope, His Grace and His mercy to a dying world. Where walls of judgement and gossip are no longer built and previous walls actively pulled down brick by brick.
I have a dream.
That on entry through the doors of this church , the person would feel the tangible, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of the Father.
I have a dream.
Right now in pockets around the world these churches are rising up... Quest Community Church , NewSpring Church, Transformation House. Cross Point Community Church, Crossroads Church.These churches are just a few of these redemptive communities that are loving a dying world to Him. These churches are modelled on the early church described in Acts 2:42-47 . Its time! Its time to build more of these churches in our communities . Never before has the world needed to hear about the unconditional love of our Saviour then now. For years people in church have judged and condemned anybody who doesnt think like them, or behave the same as them. For years people in churches have ignored and judged the very people Jesus brought them to love and embrace . If you have gone to one of these churches where you have been met with condemnation or you have been ignored, I am sorry.. its not how Jesus intended HIS church to be.
Churches of this new "UPRISING" are going to be popping up all over the place.You will know them They will feel different.
Christians, WE are responsible for THIS Generation of Souls.
Its time for us to shake things up and love the way that Jesus had always intended us to love.
* Remember, THE GROUND AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN LEVEL!!
(If your church is one of these churches , please name them here... it would be great for others to be able to come and visit) Jewell x
One of my all time favourite movies is "The Bridges of Madison County". It speaks about so many aspects of a womans life and who a woman really is under all the duty and sacrifices she makes as a Mum. My favourite Quote from the movie is when Franscesca Johnson shares her heart with Robert Kincaid.
Francesca: "When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother; a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no one has asked in so long. Not even yourself.' I am sure women all over the world have felt these feelings millions of times. The phrase we use today is called, "the empty nest syndrome." There is so much energy put into raising a family, that there is little time left for us Mums. But.children .grow.up.and move on, and then you ask yourself, now what?
I have to admit I have asked myself the same question. It all began when my 3 eldest boys grew up and moved away from home. Even today, I still haven't yet fully recovered from the pain in my heart of not seeing my boys stepping wearily out of bed each morning. Maybe I never will completely recover from it. God has been doing a lot of work in me lately.. like working overtime, as he gently teaches me the very fine art of 'letting go'. With a new season just about to start in my life,God quietly whispers to my heart...Jewell,what if the best was yet to come??? This question brings with it expectation, curiosity and more questions as my mind begins reeling with what ifs? scenarios. Again ... he gently speaks to me and says... 'Rest Jewell, no more striving.. no more trying to figure things out your way....Trust me... one step at a time. As you listen .learn and rest in me , I will give you the desires of your heart.' So here I wait , in quietness and trust that my God has plans for me that no ear has heard and no heart has imagined.. I need to just stop and rest in Him.
To all you Mums who have been down this path already.. I take my hat off to you.. I applaud you and ask for any tips for us younger Mums, that may help ease the pains, as we learn to let our children go, to be all that they are called to be.
The world often SHOUTS.."This is as Good as it gets!"....
Sometimes when you are in the midst of a battle in your life, you seem to be in a thick fog or haze. The world seems to keep on going despite your pain ,and you want to yell ...STOP...EVERYONE STOP...STOP THIS RIDE, I WANT TO GET OFF!
I have learnt that it is in these times it is helpful to imagine you are on a rollercoaster.....
You start to feel the incline and you are on the way to the top , your stomach is starting to become knotted at this stage and you know when you get to the top it is going to be horrific. You have no way of turning back....You settle deep into your seat and hold on tight, gritting your teeth and asking for divine intervention. Suddenly, with an almighty jolt , you are hurdling toward earth, turning left and right, at times at virtual right angles,your stomach and brain change places as you go into a gravity defying roll...and then ......there is always a part of the track that would have you believe that you have made it....it is finally finished.........but oh , no.....here it comes again...... as the g forces take your face places its never been before and then..... it starts all over again...the culmination of this trip is ....WHIPLASH.... the gift you are left with at the end of the ride...but WHO CARES? .YOU HAVE MADE IT THROUGH !!!(and yes your body is still in tact.)...You stumble down the stairs a little wiser, definetly older but triumphant that you have conquered yet another fear and that you have made it through to safe ground!
So if you are going through a tough time ,hold on tight and if possible save a seat in your carriage for Jesus..dig in deep , keep breathing and know that he is riding this crazy ride of life with you. Keep breathing and you will come through older, wiser and with a new appreciation of what is really important in this life( with a little insight into the next life too.)
Pray for me and I will pray for you as we journey through this thing called life remembering always...that through the pain we can have relief...through the sadness we can have joy...and for the in between times ?...there can always be singing and dancing!!!
Have a great day..I know I will choose to have a great one.....God bless, Jewell (written August 2007)
The answer is a definite yes.... but, God will still judge the heart of the person.
How do I know ?
My uncle took his life and my mum and I found him in the car,still running. My initial thought was oh no, he is lost. I was only a new christian at the time and I realised I had not told him about the gospel because I didnt want him to think I was a fruit cake(foolish). He was a famous local footballer and very cool. He was also older then me and my uncle.
Anyway I felt I had let him down and as a result he had gone to hell
BUT MY GOD SHOWED ME OTHERWISE........
A few days after his death we were cleaning out his cupboard and I came across a newspaper clipping that had in large writing on the front page.....
I THINK GODS A PRETTY GOOD BLOKE ( guy)
It was an interview with my uncle and a big picture of him on the front with his head bandaged
It talked about an injury my uncle had , suffering a fractured skull in his footy match.
My uncle told the interviewer how he called out to God to give him back his sight,
as he was due to be married in 5 weeks time.(He had instantly gone blind from the injury)
He told the reporter that he thought God was a pretty good bloke as he had answered his prayer.... and here his testimony was full page on the first page of our local paper.
Later that day , after finding that newspaper clipping ..God made it really clear to me...that if my uncle had called out to the LOrd when he was losing his sight.. how much more would he have called out to God when, this time ,he was preparing to take his life.
It was verified in a scripture the Lord gave me and this verse is now engraved on a plaque on his grave.....Psalm 116:2-7
He listens to me every time I call to him.
The danger of death was all around me, the horrors of the grave closed in on me:
I was filled with fear and anxiety
Then I called out to the Lord,
"I beg you ,Save me Lord!"
The Lord is merciful and good: our God is compassionate.
The Lord protects the helpless:when I was in danger, he saved me.
Be confident my heart,because the Lord has been good to me.
I know my uncle is in heaven now praising with the angels... I know because he called on the name on the Lord .......Our God Truly Is An Awesome God!!!!
Don't ever judge suicide.. because God always looks at the heart . He extended his grace, love and mercy to my uncle, John, as he does to every single one of us.
MY GOD IS GOOD.... ALL THE TIME.......ALL THE TIME .. MY GOD IS GOOD!!!!
I LOVED READING THIS BOOK BY PHILIP YANCEY"WHATS SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE"
ITS AVAILABLE THROUGH AMAZON THROUGH THIS LINK.....
As I sit here in the early hours of the morning with the song Lord of Lords (Hillsong) playing in my ears, I dwell on how holy is our Lord. How precious is our Lord. To think that he drew me with his everlasting love , even as he calls you now to come closer to him. His love is all consuming. He promises to be a Husband to the widow and a Father to the fatherless.. He has been that to me. He is that to me. My husband and I separated a couple of years ago and are remaining reconciled as an offering to the Lord. During this time My Lord holds me close and fills me with his love. I have never known such a pure love. He continually showers me with his love and it makes my eyes weep just at the thought of him.
I have been in this place before. When my former husband left our family home. Myself,several weeks pregnant with my youngest...my eldest 5yrs, next one 3 yrs and youngest son 15mnths.All those years ago the Lord truly became my childrens Father and my husband. I had never known such a fulfilling love until that time. Even now I ache to be in his presence like that again. I understand the scripture "to live is Christ, and to die is gain".Oh, Lord help me to walk every day in your presence. Keep me close to your side..I want to feel your breath on my cheek.
I know I have a work here on this earth, to bring my children up in the ways of the Lord and to teach them how to fight the enemy. We all have a task set before us....but oh, at the end of this race.... what a beautiful prize we will have.
To look into his face and to see him smile at me as he holds me tight ...that is all the reward I will need.
I pray for you, and I ask that you pray for me...so that we can remain strong and all finish the race that has been set before us.
One day we will join together with the saints and all worship him saying Holy Lord, you are holy. Jesus Christ is the Lord.......Holy Holy Holy...Unto the Lamb who sits on the throne, be glory and honour and praise.Amen
God bless you all and nigh nigh sweet dreams, Jewell x
I went to our ladies monthly meeting this morning and listened to a beautiful woman by the name of Sonia Richardson. She taught me so much ..that I will share in bulletins over the coming weeks .
One amazing thing she shared was about eagles.
Now we all know the scripture that tells us ;
"But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."
Well did you know that the eagle is the only creature that has been created with the ability to renew its own life force.
The most dangerous threat to the life of an eagle is the tumors that grow either side of the beak and between the talons. These tumors develop at the age of around forty or fifty years and when on the beak, the sight is drastically impaired and the poor bird will kill itself flying into cliffs and trees. Likewise the talons, the tumrs prevent the bird from picking up its prey.
The majority of male eagles choose a younger mate and, with a life span of approximately sixty years, they will do anything to prolong their life of sharing.
And so God , in all his wisdom instilled in them a miraculous ritual that gives the ability to add up to twenty years to their life.
When the tumors become a threat, the eagle will fly up into the atmosphere and towards the sun, always choosing an area above water mass. He will fly so high that the pressure is powerful enough to rupture the tumors and as he plummets back to earth at up to 200mph,he slows to 100mph just before he hits the water below. Some birds simply explode with the air pressur, others are killed on impact with the water surface, but the majority, while stunned, survive and allow the current to wash them to shore. There , they spend up to ten days recovering and during this period they pluck out their plumage.
The air pressure ruptures their tumors, the water washes and cleanses all of the damaged tissue and by plucking their feathers out, it allows new growth to bring in all the new and strong plummage. They then return to their waiting mate and can live for as much as twenty years longer. ...excerpt from the book "For my Tommorrows" by Sonia Richardson
Isnt that an amazing fact....any wonder that God gave us that verse in scripture. When we push through our circumstances, through the things that bring us down , and press into God. ...When we push aside everything that holds us back and press into God...it is then that we are given renewed strength and the energy to keep going. It takes a lot of hard work to push aside and throw behind us the weight and cares of this world and yet when we do , we get to touch the very atmosphere in which God lives, and are renewed by his spirit and restored by his strength.
My prayer is that Sonia will continue to soar on wings of eagles , though the sickness in her body would try to take her out ....that she would be restored to do the work that God has called her to do.
I also pray that we all will run to God with our concerns , our worries, our burdens and our sicknesses. Gods promise is that He will renew our strength and that we too will soar like eagles . Amen
God bless you all and have a great day. Next time you see an Eagle watch him soar!!! Jewell x
EAGLES WINGS ~ HILLSONG
written Saturday, September 15, 2007
TO GET EAGLES WINGS YOU CAN GET "BY YOUR SIDE"~HILLSONGS ALBUM THROUGH THIS LINK...
Hi everyone, Well this morning I left home at 4 am to drive to Sydney International airport to pick up my Mum.
She has been in Saudi Arabia for almost 2 years and I have missed her terribly ,as have the children.
She is my best friend, she understands me ,loves me unconditionally and I adore her.
It is almost as if at times we are one...we have a similar sense of humour , and always finish each others sentences.
Sometimes I know exactly what she is about to say...we know the songs we are both referring to,share memories and sayings that no one else can understand..and laugh at each other when everyone is standing there unaware of what is going on.
I thank My God for my Mum everyday. She has been through some mighty battles...some of which I was with her through...and she still gives generously, hopes,loves and believes all things.
When I hear people complaining about troubles in their lives and they do not stand strong...it troubles me. I realised the other day that I have always taken strength to face certain obstacles for granted.
Strength was always something role modelled to me by Mum. Not deliberately ,but by seeing it in action. Mum would always be overcoming in all areas of her life. She was molested at a young age, a battered wife by an alcoholic husband who flew into rages at any given moment, and a single Mum who did her best to raise 3 young girls whilst sometimes working 2 jobs.
I always knew she loved me and she would bless me with big and little blessings from time to time . Simple things like putting a fresh vase of Jasmine in spring on my dressing table. The smell would permeate my room making me feel pretty and feminine. Even today, Jasmine still takes me back to a safe place where my room was pretty and I felt beautiful.
Memories are the best things we can leave our children. My childhood memories are mixed with some horrid times...my sisters , my Mum and I hiding in a cupboard awaiting my Fathers return home from work...we would gage his footsteps and murmors when he came in. Most of the time we would escape through a bedroom window as Dad found our hiding spots , only to have him chase us and drag Mum home by her hair and he would beat her mercilessly.There were also times when I would witness my mother being kicked and beaten until she lay there unable to move ,bruised and bleeding body, whilst my Father yelled abuse over her. I would always run to her aid and she would tell me that "things would be better tommorrow".
Some tommorrows were better but the majority were not and finally Mum found the courage inside herself to leave my Father for good.
She taught me how to love despite your pain...and to always put on a brave face as there was always someone worse off then ourselves.
Statistics were against us.....but Mums love pulled us through. I didnt know it at the time but I also believe that Gods hand was upon us all and despite the pain he kept us all from dying.
My Father is now an old man...and is very repentant for what he did. He has led a self inflicted life of pain and suffering, believing that he did not deserve anything else for what he put his family through.He has been isolated from us for many years. I keep in contact with him through phone calls and he has been to my house twice in 10 years. I have forgiven my Father, but he cannot forgive himself. He continually asks God to forgive him , but feels very unworthy of accepting forgiveness.He lives a very lonely life and he would have it no other way.
My Mother , however is surrounded by her family who love her. She is adored and cherished and knows how much she is loved. Her battles in earlier life have been replaced with a peace and love and joy that passes all understanding. She knows that she is loved unconditionally and she also knows that she has left a huge legacy for her children and Grandchildren.
To all of you Mums out there, never underestimate the power of your love for your child. Despite troubles and hardship, mistakes and pain..if your children know that they are loved you have done the job that God has called you to do.They will grow up strong and courages ....
If you are blessed enough to have found faith in Jesus, and you can share your faith with your children as well.....Well you have just had a major role in raising a child warrior. A child who through your and Christs love Can Truly Do All THings Through Christ Who Will Strengthen Them!...Strong and Courages in Life....Always knowing that they have been created for such a time as this. They will know their place in this world and it will be hand in hand with our Lord Jesus as they battle everything that Satan and this world will bring against them. They will be more then Conquerors! More then Warriors...For They have Been Created For A Purpose....For such a Time As This!
So Mums if you do anything today , dont forget the most important thing you can do in your childs life.....Tell them You love them , Model to them a Victors life...and equip them with the knowledge of who they are in Christ....Time is short and there is so many people perishing everyday who do not know the saving love of Our Saviour.
This is our purpose on earth........that all will come to know the love of God.....I will pray for you...and you pray for me ....us Mums,we have been called to do a mighty job...not only for this generation, but for those yet to come!
We were born for such a time as this!
Take courage and stand firm in love...and remember...
I just received the news that Rex Humbard Died .Have any of you heard of him?
Well I know who he is........I was about 7yrs old when I first watched him. His show was called "The Rex Humbard Show" and it came on the tv about 6.00am every Saturday morning just before "the super flying fun show'...any aussies over the age of 40 years may remember that show.(Trivia...Did you know that Rex Humbard did Elvis presleys funeral service.?....Elvis requested it that way)
My mum used to clean holiday units back then and she would take us children along with her. I would sit in front of the tele and watch the Rex Humbard show and feel God as I watched in awe.I was not from a christian family, and yet I loved the show and "Rex Humbard" stayed in my heart for many years.....or should I say in my spirit for many years.
Looking back , I can see how The Lord used his show to speak his words and his love straight to my heart. I was an innocent bystander unaware that there were seeds being sown so deep , that would bypass my brain and grow deep in my heart and spirit.
I gave my life to The Lord at 21 years old.As we look back over our lives we can see the people who God had brought to us...with us being completely naive and unaware of what was happening.
I remember Sister Monica when I was around the similar age. She was a very old nun about 80years old and every little lunch she would walk through the playground on her way to church. I would love it when I got to hold her hand and when there wasn't many other children following her. We would go into church together, ever so quietly and with the greatest reverance.
We would stop just inside of the side door entrance of Saint Francis Xavier's Church in Wollongong.On entering we would stop at a life size statue of Jesus hanging on the cross.Sister Monica would bow down at his feet and then bring her lips to her hand(kissing) as she touched his wounds...
First on his feet and then each hand , next,his brow that was covered with the crown of thorns with big droplets of blood running down his forehead..and then she would kiss the wound in his side......I would look into her wrinkled face as big tears ran down her cheeks. The love that Sister Monica felt for her Lord was beautiful, and as a child , I would think to myself that I wanted to love Jesus the way Sister Monica loved Jesus......More seeds sewn from my God........
Through out my life there were countless other times that God would speak into my life through people or circumstances.....
and then at the age of 21 years old , my Nanna passed away............ Immediately I needed to know for sure about this place called Heaven. One night I dreamed that I was walking in a botanical garden with one of my mums friends.......along the path we stopped at various statues of Jesus(Catholics know them as the stations of the cross). We stopped at a statue of Jesus carrying the cross. His hands outstretched towards me. I lent on his hand as I continued chatting and then something amazing happened...... The statues hand went from a cold cement feel to a warm , sweaty palm feel.......I turned around and looked into his grey cement eyes and instantly they turned a brilliant blue and he said "FOLLOW ME".........
I awoke in tears and still feeling his wet clammy hand upon mine I woke up my husband and told him too. He thought I was just dreaming and told me to go back to sleep as Anyerin(our baby) would be awake soon.
My life changed from that day forth....I searched and searched for God in Various churches .....and finally I walked into The Lighthouse Christian Centre in Wollongong .
A pastor by the name of Ezekial Choong was visiting and it was that Day that I gave my heart to Jesus. He asked us did we know for sure that if we died today that we would be sure to go to heaven...I questioned myself........I was hopeful..but how could I really be sure?..
I wasn't sure even Nanna was there. He told me that the bible says that if I receive Jesus into my heart and do my best to follow him all the days of my life ,that I would have that assurance........something inside me compelled me to go forward and pray that pray with him.
As I did that, something happened....I couldn't stop crying...I was a mess......the tears would not stop,and I did not know why. A lady next to me told me that God was washing my heart and healing me from the inside out......I didn't know much about that ...but I continued to sob the biggest tears ever.......
I now know that he was healing me from the inside out and continues to do the same everyday.
I think its amazing how God does not waste a thing. Out of one ladies death( my beautiful Nanna) so much life has come. I now know Jesus and have received eternal life with him, my seven children, my mother, my great Aunty, my 2 nieces,and just recently my older sister. As well as the lives that my children have touched through their music ministry and friends.....some we may never hear about until we leave this world.
My God is an Awesome God and he will use everything to bring us closer to him ..Why??? because he desires us to fall in love with him...the way he has fallen in love with us.
I have never felt so truly loved in the way that he loves me ,as I just sit at his feet and talk to him about my day and my dreams and hopes. Telling him how much I love him and thanking him for all that he has done in my life.
Look back over your life today and recall to your mind when you could see God calling you closer to him.....it may have just been a simple song or a rainbow or a gentle breeze, but I am sure you have felt him...He loves you with an everlasting love and he will continue to woo you through his love for you ,until you fall in love with him and give him your whole heart.
Have a beautiful Sunday......Oh, just by chance its his day.....spend some time with him alone......He would love it......and you may just enjoy it too...I bet you will !
I have just been watching a myspace video of the Dixie Chicks singing Patty Griffins infamous song"Top of the World".
As I watched the song I couldnt help thinking of my own father and the huge responsibility men have in their hands.
If you have read any of my previous blogs you may have realised my less then perfect childhood.
My Father was definetly not the Father, God had called him to be.He made many mistakes and messed up many lives.
Tonight I look at him in yet another light.
I look on him as a young boy and I wonder what that young boy was like. What damage was caused to him at an early age?
There is surely some deep dark horror that must have showed itself to him when he was a young man. I doubt that Dad has ever truly loved himself and to this day probably has never even questioned his childhood pain.
When I was young he was the strong one ,in total control, he ruled with a violent temper and yet this same man in a torrential downpour one night, ran out to save some sparrows on our front lawn whom were being pelted by the driving rain. He got a box with blankets inside and placed them in the laundry until morning. When ,once dry , he released them back into freedom. Who was this man?
Its so strange ...my Dad is in his seventys and I do not know him...I do not know his past hurts and pains ...and I really do not know HIM.
To any men out there who may read this......Get to know your children, share with them your childhood, your good times and bad, let them get under your skin and let them get to know the real you...
We are all really just brothers and sisters, on this journey we call Life. Imagine if we dropped our pretense , our preconceived ideas, our expectations, our fears and just spoke to each other about our lives.
I am over with superficial talk, I am beginning to hate it...so much time is wasted as we go along with our polite hellos and how are you comments.
Most of us are in pain and we need each others help...we need to share each others burdens and not just merely whitewash them.
It is time to rise up.....we have all been through pain, this life promises us nothing less. It is time for us to find what it is in our own lives that we need to heal........and find an ointment for our ailment.
There is a time that this ointment may have to be applied by a trusted friend or family member....but there also comes a time when the healing must come, when you must take over the application of the ointment.
As you apply it , then comes the healing.
For me , there has been only one tried and tested healing ointment and that is the time spent with my Heavenly Father on my own in quiet times...when everyone else is sleeping and we are all alone.
It is then that he touches me deep with his healing balm, in places I could never go myself.
We all need help from others, in the beginning of our pain, when our wounds are raw and bleeding...but then we need to lift the burden from ourselves and from others and give it to Jesus.
As we give him all our hurts and pains , our broken dreams and scarred bodies , he promises us restoration....full healing........" For By His Stripes We Are Healed! ".
Lord may we forgive each other for the pain we inflict on each other through our unhealed hurts....
help us to come to you for complete healing.........
heal us from the pain of our childhood and in our lives as adults.
Give us the strength to STAND.
When all hell breaks loose around us ....help us to just STAND and know that you are The God who Heals us.
May we come to you, for you tell us in your word that you are the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega.....and that you who have started a good work in us, and you will be faithful to complete it.
Help us to be faithful to that call and to give you all our burdens.....For you tell us ....to cast our burdens , onto Jesus , for he cares for us
May we never take you for granted Lord, give us strength to bring it all to you and to just Stand despite our pain and that as we stand in your presence that healing will come. Amen
I have been feeling lately that there truly is a time , a season for everything.
I have just returned from a family holiday and it was wonderful. I had actually spent a lot of my childhood in Qld and I had the opportunity to see a lot of familiar places while I was up there.
I drove passed by my childhood home,in fact, I parked out the front and recalled memories of long ago. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I played in that front yard. As I look over the 41 years of my life, I sit here and I thank My Lord for every little bit. I have learnt so much about Gods grace ,his mercy ,but most of all his love in all of it.
I am thankful for my childhood and the struggles that I have had ,even for the nights of terror and especially for the hope that each new day would bring.
My God has used everything , he has been with me on this journey, and he has not wasted even one of my tears.
I consider myself a strong woman, but my strength has come from knowing my God..Every hurt ,every pain has been my passage to a higher place.
I know that I have been called to a great work.....,John15:16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."
Wow! Right now I am in the midst of my season of raising up the next generation .....this is the time I need to still my mind and be all that God has called me to be, in order to complete the task he has set before me. What a priviledge to bring Christ to my children. I heard it once said that a faith in Jesus Christ cannot be taught but in fact it can only be caught . Help me Father to not only to talk the talk but to be able to walk the walk. It is in the walking , in our journey , as we deny ourselves and take up your cross that you are seen in us.
I know that I may be the only Jesus some people may meet...help me to bring honour and glory to your name.
You say because I have been chosen , I can ask for anything in your name and it will be given.
Thank you Father that you have shown me over the years that you are so faithful .
Thank you for the prayers that seemed to go unanswered , only to find out later that you had an even greater plan for me.
I know that my faith my hope and my testimony of what you have done and continue to do in my life can literally blow up any mountain that would try to stand in the path that you have set before me.
I am part of an army, an invincible army whose General conquered the grave, hell and everything that stood in his way.
I am a Woman Pioneer....I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me........ ploughing new ground and taking it for my King.
I am a Warrior Woman, who brings down the enemy with a fiery passion ....
I will never be defeated!!!
If you are going through struggles and trials at the moment .......Take a deep breath and know that Our God is with you........Rise up , get angry at the enemy.. but remember who you are and for what reason you were created.
Remember one thing....You are on a journey ....and as for the struggle ...look through it to the reward that is waiting at the other end...Listen to Gods quiet voice in the midst of it and allow Him to be your source of Joy, Hope and Love....knowing that he who began a good work in you , will be faithful to complete it.......your job is to just hold onto him until you reach the other side.
Know that there is a host of warriors that have gone before you cheering you on from above.
One day you will be able to lay down that sword and exchange it for a crown.
What a day that will be!!!!
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal ... a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to lose and a time to seek; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace <3 <3 <3 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
As I look back on my life, I am so thankful that there were times when I was truly loved and was loved. Twice I have loved in my life...that all encompassing love when you want to breath the very breathe the other person is breathing.Some people have never even tasted of it once....For all of you who are still in love ,and if your heart still skips a beat when you look into each others eyes...you have something to be doubly thankful for.........Never take it for granted....
I cried when I watched this video...for all that I have lost....but also for the times that I had gained by experiencing this kind of love......Hope you enjoy it, Jewell X (written Wednesday, November 07, 2007 )
Hi everyone, Well this morning I left home at 4 am to drive to Sydney International airport to pick up my Mum.
She has been in Saudi Arabia for almost 2 years and I have missed her terribly ,as have the children.
She is my best friend, she understands me ,loves me unconditionally and I adore her.
It is almost as if at times we are one...we have a similar sense of humour , and always finish each others sentences.
Sometimes I know exactly what she is about to say...we know the songs we are both referring to,share memories and sayings that no one else can understand..and laugh at each other when everyone is standing there unaware of what is going on.
I thank My God for my Mum everyday. She has been through some mighty battles...some of which I was with her through...and she still gives generously, hopes,loves and believes all things.
When I hear people complaining about troubles in their lives and they do not stand strong...it troubles me. I realised the other day that I have always taken strength to face certain obstacles for granted.
Strength was always something role modelled to me by Mum. Not deliberately ,but by seeing it in action. Mum would always be overcoming in all areas of her life. She was molested at a young age, a battered wife by an alcoholic husband who flew into rages at any given moment, and a single Mum who did her best to raise 3 young girls whilst sometimes working 2 jobs.
I always knew she loved me and she would bless me with big and little blessings from time to time . Simple things like putting a fresh vase of Jasmine in spring on my dressing table. The smell would permeate my room making me feel pretty and feminine. Even today, Jasmine still takes me back to a safe place where my room was pretty and I felt beautiful.
Memories are the best things we can leave our children. My childhood memories are mixed with some horrid times...my sisters , my Mum and I hiding in a cupboard awaiting my Fathers return home from work...we would gage his footsteps and murmors when he came in. Most of the time we would escape through a bedroom window as Dad found our hiding spots , only to have him chase us and drag Mum home by her hair and he would beat her mercilessly.There were also times when I would witness my mother being kicked and beaten until she lay there unable to move ,bruised and bleeding body, whilst my Father yelled abuse over her. I would always run to her aid and she would tell me that "things would be better tommorrow".
Some tommorrows were better but the majority were not and finally Mum found the courage inside herself to leave my Father for good.
She taught me how to love despite your pain...and to always put on a brave face as there was always someone worse off then ourselves.
Statistics were against us.....but Mums love pulled us through. I didnt know it at the time but I also believe that Gods hand was upon us all and despite the pain he kept us all from dying.
My Father is now an old man...and is very repentant for what he did. He has led a self inflicted life of pain and suffering, believing that he did not deserve anything else for what he put his family through.He has been isolated from us for many years. I keep in contact with him through phone calls and he has been to my house twice in 10 years. I have forgiven my Father, but he cannot forgive himself. He continually asks God to forgive him , but feels very unworthy of accepting forgiveness.He lives a very lonely life and he would have it no other way.
My Mother , however is surrounded by her family who love her. She is adored and cherished and knows how much she is loved. Her battles in earlier life have been replaced with a peace and love and joy that passes all understanding. She knows that she is loved unconditionally and she also knows that she has left a huge legacy for her children and Grandchildren.
To all of you Mums out there, never underestimate the power of your love for your child. Despite troubles and hardship, mistakes and pain..if your children know that they are loved you have done the job that God has called you to do.They will grow up strong and courages ....
If you are blessed enough to have found faith in Jesus, and you can share your faith with your children as well.....Welll you have just had a major role in raising a child warrior. A child who through your and Christs love Can Truly Do All THings Through Christ Who Will Strengthen Them!...Strong and Courages in Life....Always knowing that they have been created for such a time as this. They will know their place in this world and it will be hand in hand with our Lord Jesus as they battle everything that Satan and this world will bring against them. They will be more then Conquerors! More then Warriors...For They have Been Created For A Purpose....For such a Time As This!
So Mums if you do anything today , dont forget the most important thing you can do in your childs life.....Tell them You love them , Model to them a Victors life...and equip them with the knowledge of who they are in Christ....Time is short and there is so many people perishing everyday who do not know the saving love of Our Saviour.
This is our purpose on earth........that all will come to know the love of God.....I will pray for you...and you pray for me ....us Mums,we have been called to do a mighty job...not only for this generation, but for those yet to come!
We were born for such a time as this!
Take courage and stand firm in love...and remember...
Well 19 years ago this very day my second eldest Son,Rhys, was born into the world.
He was in such a hurry that he was born quite unexpectedly on the lounge room floor. It was 4.40am ..and 1/2hour before everything was still. Not a sign of what lay ahead.
I had no idea that it would happen so fast. My eldest son came out of his bedroom within minutes of me giving birth to Rhys. He could not believe his eyes.
Strangely enough ,I was up very early on the computer this morning and I looked up and here comes Rhys out of his room to say Good morning as he made his way to the shower to get ready for work. I looked at the computers clock and without a word of a lie it was exactly 4.40am. Exactly the same time he was born 19 years before!!. I do not think in the past 19 years we have ever both been awake and in the same room at 4.40am until today.
As I think back on his life, i consider myself so very blessed and priviledged to be able to call myself his Mum.Last year he could have been killed in a car accident after he fell asleep at the wheel. God has great plans for this young man . He has such a heart of purity and such respect and love for his girlfriend. What you see is what you get with Rhys. He is a loyal friend and is always looking to help others out.
What an honour to be able to stand on the sidelines and Cheer him on.
He has a beautiful Girlfriend of 5 and a half years and he is now a qualified electrician. He loves the lord with all his heart and his second love next to Miriam is spearfishing.
Well ,those of you who have children , take some time today to thank our God, because he has been Doubly Good to you.
I thank him every day for my blessing . I better go and start this day.....with Gods hands holding mine, I can do it easy!!!
Bye for now, Jewell x
Rhys has written a couple of beautiful songs and here is one ... it is being sung by his brother Anyerin...
It is called..."YOU SET ME FREE"... Meg my daughter put a slideshow to it on youtube....
Written Thursday, January 10, 2008
RHYS AT 5
RHYS TODAY
I have just been reading a poem about our children being on loan from our God .. and boy is that the truth!
I think it is the hardest job in the world being a Mum, and at the same time the most blessed job in the world.
From the moment our children are born and placed in our arms, our hearts feel like they are beating as one. As they grow ,they make us laugh and cry....from those beautiful chubby cheeks and wet bottoms all the way through to pimples and relationships ...every moment is precious.
I remember when I was told my eldest was to be married.....Mixed with the excitement came a grief that I had not quite prepared myself for. As I released him into marriage with his beautiful wife, I also released him into the hands of my Heavenly Father. He was no longer a boy, but a man and he would ,one day , be the leader of the next generation. I really wasn't ready to relinquish my role in his life...time ,had flown by too fast...could someone slow it down ...Lord? Can you hear me , I am not ready yet....Lord, are you there?
My Lord gently took my hand and pulled my head to his shoulder as I wept in his arms...I'm not ready.....
He lovingly looked into my eyes and said 'Your work is not finished....it has only just begun..." as he beckoned me to look over my shoulder.
As I did, I saw my 6 beautiful children, Rhys himself on the verge of becoming a man, Seth not long behind, and Bethany and Meg...Oh My Lord,they too would be mothers one day, who would have their hearts stretched and pulled. Benny and James my two littlest boys...just starting to be molded ...just at the beginning of seeing this world and learning about all the excitement it holds for them.....I cried as I took a deep breathe.
You are right Lord...so much to do and so little time......they will be all grown up before I know it. I felt in my heart a goal, a purpose ..an excitement ...."to raise my children in the ways of the Lord"......I felt the scripture float up from my heart, giving me hope and joy and a reason to keep running toward the goal.
I will not look back, only forward , not to the left nor to the right..but rather keep my eyes fixed on Him......after all ..He is the author and finisher of our faith.
I have much to do and little time to do it..for no man knows the hour ,nor the day when the Son of man will return.....but all I know is that I want to be found, when he returns, doing all that he has called me to do....and right now that is to be the Mum of my beautiful children and to introduce them to my Lord Jesus ,so that they may have a relationship with him and to be able to walk and talk with him ,in the good times and bad.........
To those of you who have lost a child , my heart breaks for you....I cannot imagine your pain ...but knowing that you have done your job here on earth and trusting that he/she returns to our Heavenly Father must somehow soothe your broken hearts.... but in saying that, to lose a part of ones very heart , seems too big to even think about. It would surely be the greatest pain of all.
Lord thank you for allowing us the blessing of being a Mother... for your peace , your protection, your love , your wisdom and your strength that we have called on throughout our childrens lives.
Refresh us with full hearts ,with your wisdom and with your understanding ...but Father most of all, help us to release them into your hands when that day comes..so that we can truly say ....It is well ..It is well ...It is well, with my soul.
Jewell x
written Friday, March 07, 2008
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL ~ AMY GRANT
I CAN HIGHLY RECOMMEND AMY GRANTS BEAUTIFUL ALBUM.HYMNS OF FAITH..
CLICK HERE TO ORDER IT THROUGH AMAZON...
My God you are my Husband, my Comforter...my Friend.and no other can take your place..........
It is late here in my home, the little people are sleeping...Beth has just come home from Youth . There is an ambient glow from my fireplace as it warms up our favourite place to be in the world. How blessed and content I feel. The world is at turmoil outside my door,the bills mount up on my kitchen bench...but here...right now...tonight ....there is peace ..warmth....and safety here...but most of all my home is full of love.
I have just put a new song on my page " The Thief " by Brooke Fraser...I listen to the words. They wash over me, just as waves would gently dance on waters, that moments before ,were still.
It is in these times that I feel my Lord reaching out to gently ,tenderly touch my face. He reassures me that he loves me and as I look into his face, he looks straight through me,into my very heart . He is a gentle loving God who knows me intimately..he knows me better then I know myself. His look consumes my very heart and soul....he knew me before I ever even spoke a word to him..He sings me to sleep...He ruins me with secrets, speaking to me through sonnets and books...he looks through my window as I lay...the key to my heart fits in his hand....he is breaking into my heart and I.....I am letting him.........His eyes are full,.... full of the future of us...him and I ....I am his Bride and he is my Bridegroom...my eyes are full of love for him.He speaks to me of a time to come...he speaks his love to my heart and I recognise his voice..I have been here with him before. How I want to stay here Lord, let not this feeling leave me...let not your presence leave me...for you are all I want in this world...only you can satisfy.
Your eyes are full..full of the future of us.......it is as if.....I knew you before we spoke...do our hearts know something we dont.You are ruining me , with secrets and gestures and looks, playing the chords with me that nobody else knew how to play...Your breaking into my heart...and I 'm letting you...I love you Lord.....but you are ruining me for this world....how I long to be with you...when my work here is done ,I will see you face to face and I will finally see you as you truly are... ..
