Whilst sitting here trying to think of words to share about how I feel about My Saviour.... I came across this song..... It spoke everything I wanted to say........ So this is me, sitting down with Him, singing him a love song ,from the depths of my heart ....... I hope it becomes your love song to him too...
"Can't take my eyes off you" Lady Antebellum
I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came
So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you
I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just *wake* up And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, *but it's never too much* I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my walls
So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you
Looking back over my life I feel like I am one of the blessed women on the planet......
I was raised in a home where my Dad was an alcoholic and most nights were filled with the sounds and sights of Dads anger and violent outbursts as he hit my Mum . We girls would sit in fear , hiding in our rooms or cupboards with our tummies aching as we waited for things to calm down until Dad had finally had enough and went off to bed.
We always felt loved by Mum and strangely enough by Dad too as when he wasnt drinking he was a nice man. We entered and re-entered schools up and down the north and South Coasts of Australia more then 20 times during the primary school years, due to Mum and Dads continual separation followed by many reconcilliations. It was hard making friends knowing that I could never invite them home because of Dads outbursts and violent behaviour.
Finally when I was around 11 years old , Mum found courage to leave Dad for good and it was then that we moved to Wollongong permanently.
I was a very happy child but was tormented often by our past . I somehow attained a real loyalty for my Dad and gave Mum a hard time as she tried to start a new life romantically. Looking back, as a young girl, I think I wanted my Mum to myself and didnt want to share her with anyone else.
From a young age , I knew that the only thing I really wanted to do with my life was to become a Mum and Wife.. probably in that order too.
I had a perfect picture of what I thought my life would be. I wouldnt settle for less. The requirements would be simple that He would love me as much as I loved him. That we would have many children , and that our home would be filled with music, laughter and happiness. No walking on eggshells...and wondering what would happen next for my children.
When I did finally marry at 20 years of age, I was 3 months pregnant with my first son .
I had met the man of my dreams and he had won my heart. He had a wonderful sense of humour and made me laugh , he was extremely good looking and loved me so much. 7 years later with 3 children and pregnant with my 4th he left our family home and took my heart with him. It was during this time I was so thankful that I had found faith in Jesus when I was 21. Sounds crazy for those of you who havent experienced him, but He literally became my life line . He poured so much hope and love into my heart as I raised my children. His love for us all was tangible and my children could sense him in our home as they grew. It wasnt something that just happened though. Everyday I would choose to think the way he thought and I would search for his way to raise my children. I sought out people who knew him and those whose faith I admired, to spend time with. My heart was sore everyday...it was as if I could feel each part of my heart. Each segment had its own bruise and very slowly over a long time those bruises began to heal. I realised that no matter what my husband thought of me... or that he no longer had a desire for me , I had found a God who desired me and was pursuing me with everything he had.
5 years went by and I met a wonderful man whom I later married. He was so different from my former husband. He was secure and stable , older then me and someone I felt would look after my children and I. My love for him was different too , maybe because I was a little older and wiser. I was not in a fantasy world, thinking that he would " complete me". I had my God in whom I felt loved and cherished, my beautiful children to nurture and everything seemed right with the world.
We had 3 more children together. Twins were the icing on the cake....
Raising seven little Australians had its trying times but also some of the most beautiful moments of my life. In fact the most beautiful memories always have one or several children wrapped up in the middle of them. We had some difficult times and after 5 years of marriage and several years of being together , we made a mutual decision to separate. We would do things a little different to the "norm" and we would stay friends and simply live in different places. It released the whole family from the day to day pressures of stress and allowed peace and happiness to reign in our home and his.
We would live "outside the box" that most people choose to live but it worked and continues to work for us even to this day.
The empty nest syndrome was not something that I had prepared myself at all for.... in fact I hadnt quite understood it all and felt that when ALL the children left home I would probably experience it .
It has taken 3 years , and I think I am nearly there. The past 6mnths have been an incredible time of growth to the point that everything that I had held important to me , I have had to let go . These expectations that I was continually putting on others, were robbing me of the simple joys and pleasures of everyday life. It was as if God was placing all these blessings at my feet and I was looking everywhere else , except at those very blessings.
I am so grateful for everything that has happened in my life. Those times and Gods grace. love and mercy have made me who I am today. Even though I still have days when things literally hit the proverbial fan, I know that with my hand, in the hand of the God of this Universe.. nothing can happen that can steal my perfect peace. I know that he is working "all things for my good and for the good of those around me". In saying good, I mean, that he is working ALL things so that you and I might come closer to him, that we would see him for who he really is. Each day I am coming to realise how much he truly loves me. It is no longer a fantasy .. no longer just a line from another romantic movie...
I can now say , from the fullness of my heart.... that "He completes me"
He has truly blessed the broken road of my life and led me straight to his heart.
The words of this song share perfectly how I feel about him........
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
[Chorus]
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
I have had this song going over and over in my mind....
It describes everything I feel about my God.
I drink him in like water.... I drink him like an everlasting love...I drink him like Freedom..
He is the only thing I have found in this life that truly satisfies.
He is more intimate then any lover could ever be... he beckons me to come closer ..to feel his very breath upon my face.
He leads me to a place where I find peace and rest and stillness...
All the while he whispers... drink me like water... drink me like freedom... drink me like the nectar that falls from Eden....
I am the reason you smile he speaks...
When you can't see the way ahead...I am the timeless light that illluminates your way
When you are tired and cant go any further ... I will carry you until I set your feet on higher ground
I become the sparkle in your eyes again as you rest and trust in me......
I have been here with you all along...stop.... now breathe for a moment... Can you hear my heart beating with yours?... Can you feel my breath rise and fall with yours?
Our breathing is melodic ...like a song ...perfectly harmonised.
You were searching in the heights and deep into the valleys .. you wore yourself out searching for me.... only to find I have been here all along...closer then your breath... between your breath and sinews I reside.....
I will never leave you ... never forsake you... nor will you ever be loved by any other so deeply as I have loved you...... I am yours and you are mine.....I offer you love .. love and more love.....Drink me in <3 <3 <3
Everlasting Love by Ed Kowalczyk
Oh What Dreams have we here?
Such vivid colors in all the clothes that you wear
You alone ~you are the secret makes mona lisa smile.
You alone ~you are the sign that Love is true..thats its really here
Now I drink you like water
Drink you like Freedom
Drink you like the nectar that falls from Eden
Drink you like water
Drink you like the Everlasting Love!
Oh its borrowed time we're livin on ,
But I dont care anymore I got you, I'm breakin off this weight
You alone~ you are the timeless light that illuminates my way
You alone ~you are the sparkle in my eye everyone can see
Its a miracle that I found you here next to me
I heard you breathin, I feel your song
Over mountains so high and rivers so wide ,
I tried to find you......
Now I drink you like water
Drink you like Freedom
Drink you like the nectar that falls from Eden
Drink you like water
Drink you like the Everlasting Love!!!
No one can make you believe or convince you about Gods existence.. not even all the head knowledge in the world will convince someone of his existence.
But know this ...God is pursuing every one of us , even now.
For some they may sense him in the setting of the sun, others may sense him as they walk along the beach..some see the proof of Gods existence when they look into the face of their children......
For me personally , I first sensed him in the hopelessness and heartache of my Nannas death.
One thing is for certain ......you will sense him or feel him at various times in your life.
Once you sense him, you have 2 choices.
You can merely ignore him and just keep walking through life or you can choose to stop, acknowledge him and take a step closer to him.
How do you do that?
Go to someone who has experienced and knows God for themselves .
God always places people in your path that know Him ,so that they can steer you toward him or introduce you to Him.
Go to someone who you trust , someone who is real with their faith.
By real .. I mean someone who isnt religious .
(You can tell the difference.)
Oh and remember... the next time you look at a sunset ...or stand on the top of a mountain...close your eyes for a minute and breathe in..... that day just might be the day that you sense and feel Him standing there next to you ♥ ♥ ♥
THIS IS A TRUE STORY THAT BREAKS MY HEART AND BECKONS THESE QUESTIONS..
.
How did this family slip through? How did they go unnoticed in this world?
Would we have stopped to help or would we have left it to someone else to "fix"?.....
I wonder what Jesus would have done had he met this family?........
This past week, 3 young men aged 31,25 and 21 all with some form of intellectual disability were left stranded in a car park when their mother collapsed at the wheel and was taken to hospital.
The family had been living in their car for some months as they were unable to obtain permanent accommodation.
The people of All Saints Church , Nelson Bay were the last from a very line of people to help these young men.
Most chose not to help , stating that they didnt have services for such a predicament.
The police finally rang All Saints, a church whose average age of people is 70 years of age.
They themselves did not have the facility either but put the men into a cabin in a local caravan park
A couple of the ladies from All Saints had the sad job of going to the men the day after to explain to them that their Mum had died in hospital.'
She had been suffering from cancer for a long time . The tumour was so big it had broken through her chest wall and was protruding from her skin. She and her boys travelled around and stopped off at motels until the money run out .. when they simply lived in their car until it was payday again.
For the next few days after the Mums death around 10 people from All saints provided the boys with accommodation , Breakfast and an evening meal . clothes and money for lunches.
The boys shared that it was difficult for them to understand why "perfect strangers" would want to help them.
They said "No one has ever done anything like this for us before "
There was only one known person who knew the family longer then 7 days.
Their Mum was buried late last week and below is a part of the eulogy that was said by one of the boys . ( 2 of the ladies articulated things for him as he shared.....)
JAMIES EULOGY TO HIS MUM.....
I guess one of the things about Mum was her stubborness . It showed in everything she did.
She prayed for me when I was sick.
I was a premature baby born 1lb at 26 weeks , 6th June, 1989 at John Hunter Hospital
I felt warmed when Mum prayed like some sort of energy going through me.
I thought it was a dream but it was Mums prayer and my guardian angel holding my hand.
Mum always loved Jimmy Hendrix.
She also loved her car , it as a part of her...
She had great driving skills , steady hands that kept us on the path.
Mum taught us about the dangers of smoking, drinking, and drugs... the values of a clean mind, spirit and soul.
We have followed that advice to the letter.
In the past 2 years and 9 months we have been moving from shelter to shelter.
Her warm arms kept us from the cold.
Mum protected us when we were young and we tried to protect her when she was very sick.
But , in the end.... like everything in life...death has to take us away.
We wont think on our sadness , but embrace the love that she gave us.
May God keep her in his peace and loving arms ,
you will be in our hearts forever ...
We love you Mum love Jamie, Keith and Andrew, Amen
*Please pray for these young men. They have been given a home and some carers have been assigned to them.
Could it be that the place where you are not surrendering control to God, is the place you are not experiencing peace? There can be no peace where there is no surrender...
Isaiah 48: 18 says....."If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river"........
There has been countless times in my life where I have had to choose surrender . Its one of the hardest things that I am learning..just when you think you've got this thing under wraps... another opportunity comes along which is often harder then the last time. Surrender requires a surrender of your very self. Its as if our very heart strings are attached to the other person or thing.
Where do you start ?
How do you do surrender ?
Pastor John Kohler once asked me, " How do you eat an elephant?"
He replied with the answer.."one bite at a time...."
This piece of advice has held me in good stead for many years.
First things first.
*Acknowledge that area, person or situation where you are being robbed of peace. That person, place or thing that is taking your thoughts, your time and your heart away from experiencing peace, freedom and joy in your life.
* Lay YOUR expectation or desire to control the person or situation, down...
*Lay down at his feet your desire for things to go a certain way...
At times it feels like strips of skin are being torn off you ..as little by little you surrender that area or that desire of your heart to God.
*Don't just do it once, continue to do it EVERYTIME, you feel the desire .
Saying ..Lord, you know what my heart wants... but I only want the best from you in my life so I will give that to you .
If its from God by giving it to him it will surely come to pass.
In Matthew 6verse 33 , the Bible says... " Seek the Kingdom of God above ALL else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."...in other words let your first care be for His kingdom and His righteousness: and all these other things will be given to you in addition.
Once we get that Capital T truth fixed firmly in our minds and heart .. the Peace of God follows..
Start today.. take that first bite of the elephant.. it will take you a while to learn how to do it,just like all the good things in life that take time to flourish....
One day you will be able to hand everything over to him...you will learn to trust him as you experience His Peace...
Oh ....one more important thing.....
Remember you cant produce Peace.... you cultivate it <3
Pray this prayer and then let his peace flow over you through the words to this beautiful song by Kim Walker...
Lord ..
In the place where I am welcoming stress, anxiety, control, anger or unforgiveness..Lord I come to you and surrender that area of my life to you and ask for exchange YOUR PEACE..that peace that passes All understanding..that peace that brings perfect peace in my mind heart and body..I open my hands to you in surrender Lord, in Jesus name...Amen <3 <3 <3
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God
what you need, and thank him for all he has done".....Philippians 4:6
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is fixed on you, because he
trusts in you."..Isaiah 26:3
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at All times and in
every situation. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
In the middle of our chaos God promises that as we open our clenched hands to him . and trust him...... he will give us HIS peace.. a peace that passes ALL understanding.
He does it for me and he will do it for you ♥ ♥ ♥
I heard Helen Musick, (Pastor from Quest Community Church) explain it this way...
It was test time... for her students at College.
They all sat down at their tables ready to take the test.. this was going to be a big one.. a major test of their course.
Helen handed out each individual test paper and placed it back to front on each students table..she then asked them to turn the test paper and begin.
As each one turned the test over they began shifting uneasy in their chair...some looked around. Others just looked blankly ahead..
Helen had in fact,written the correct answers to every question on each ones paper.
Pages and pages of correct answers...
Helen explained that all they had to do to accept the 100% mark was to put their name on the top of that test paper.
One student raised her hand and with tears in her eyes said.."Do you mean,this will be accredited as my work?"
"Yes" , replied Helen (This young girl was a bright student but when it came to tests.. she often failed due to nervousness) She immediately wrote her name on the test paper.
However one student stood up and said.. "You mean all the study and late nights I have put into it, isnt going to count, it means nothing?"
"No" said Helen.. "it won't count at all."
Indignant, he refused to sign his name .The class was divided , should they put their name to the test and have this unmerited 100% given to them , freely..with no strings attached?Helen explained to them, "There were things I put in this test that you haven't even learn't yet There is no way that you could get 100% on your own, no matter how much work you put into this.".
Some started to write their name on the paper.. but still a few resisted.
Helen went on...."THIS IS THE SAME GRACE THAT GOD EXTENDS TO US..No matter how hard we try or how good we are.
God says.. it means nothing.I sent my son to die for , not to make you good , but so that you would be mine.
You dont have to do anything but let me love you....
his is my gift of Grace to you...Come to me and let me love you ."
I put my name on my test paper 23 years ago ,and have tasted of this unmerited Grace every day since.....even the days when I mess up.. I know that he sees me with an A on my test paper and he picks up , and then, together, we start over...
What are you going to do with your test paper today?
Just gotta share this post from my beautiful friend Sarah ..I love it so much....
"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things...
...They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create.
They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy?
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to
think they can change the world, are the ones who do!
There has been so many things that have happened in the past year. Things that I am not at liberty to share with you at this moment in time. One day I know, I will be able to shout it from the roof tops but until then I will stay at Gods feet and lean into him as he fills me with his deep love and peace.
These things have shaken the very foundations of everything that I have believed.. Everything that I have held dear to me as truth, have been absolutely blown apart.
HE is rebuilding me, rebuilding my foundations...rebuilding my hopes and my dreams through his beautiful love. This love feels like literal waves of love that are washing over me. Its so hard to put into words what he is doing...but oh the remodelling.. he has me like clay in the potters hands as he shapes me moulding my heart into HIS heart as the very centre of my being.
I did not know that I myself was like a Religious Pharisee who pointed out others sin and put loads on their backs that they couldnt carry and yet through his love he has shown me that this is who I was at the very core.
In Jeremiah 31:3, It says...
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:"I have loved you with an everlasting love;I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
He has shown us LOVE , LOVE AND MORE LOVE.. How can I not do the same to those around me.
God has sent beautiful friends that bring his heart to me and this is one of these occasions.I was just sharing with a young friend and this was her response...
"I have no words in my heart at all to even say to God with this .. its just so wonderful that no matter what it is that even humans would give up on a person... God works through the highest walls, for the ones he loves.
There have been so many events in my life that seem to turn my world upside down and they come one after another.... sometimes i look at myself at different stages and look back and think how much I've changed that sometimes I seem like a completely different person... but one thing is stable.. and that is HIM
...even the promises he gives me from so long ago... though I forget them or push them aside thinking its been too long.. he always proves faithful
He's the only thing I can cling on to
and he proves himself faithful and true time and time again"
Times like this remind me of the song called "THE MORE I SEEK YOU" BY KARI JOBE
"The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming"
I had a great day today , Beth, Meg , Ben and James went to pottery while I browsed bookshops. I was looking for a book called "Every Man in This Village is a Liar" by Megan Stack. Written by a 25yr old national correspondent for Los Angeles Times about her journey of being a journalist thrust into the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
I saw an interview with her about the book a few nights ago.
Megan Stack writes in a way that you can see the scene before your eyes as she shares.
I am loving reading it and I have only got through the first couple of chapters.
I have always had a love for writing and I love that a woman so young got to play a vital role in reporting this so called, ~"war on terror".
Quote ~ Megan Stack
""Only after covering it for years did I understand that the war on terror never really existed. It was not a real thing. Not that the war on terror was flawed, not that it was cynical or self-defeating, or likely to breed more resentment and violence. But that it was hollow, it was essentially nothing but a unifying myth for a complicated scramble of mixed impulses and social theories and night terrors and cruelty and business interests"
At the end of her Prologue, Megan finishes by saying......
"As it turned out ,the first thing I knew about war was also the truest, and maybe its as true for nations as for individuals: You can survive and not survive, both at the same time."
I bought my copy for $39.99 at Angus and Robertson Bookshop .. but I have just found it on Amazon for $17.79 .. you can click on this link to order a copy for yourself.
Sometimes when its late at night and my home is still my mind wanders. It journeys to many different places , memories of my yesterdays ,sometimes recounting my day and imaginings ,my hopes, and my dreams for my tommorrows.
My rememberings are always wrapped up in my children and lots of fun times. Tonight I put on a taped bed time story for my little boys to listen to. It was called Magic Shoelaces.
It was a story that I used to listen to with my 4 eldest children when they were little. As I sat on the edge of my sons bed, I watched my boys faces light just the same way that I had seen before with my older sons. I mouthed the words as they came out of the recorder and to my amazement I even remembered every word to the funny song at the end..(be careful what you wish for..you wish for ..you wish for ...be careful what you wish for ..it might come true!!!)
Its funny how my brain can't recall mathematical equations, the right spelling of words,or even where I put the car keys an hour ago and yet silly songs from the era of the donutman, psalty the singing song book, S club, and many more..(believe me, my heads full of them hehe!) are so fresh in my head.
All these songs are attached to my children and my heart is absolutely filled to brimming over as I breath in every memory.
I dont want to miss any of this, not one single day. I don't care if I struggle financially , if I have to sell my home as long as I can live every moment I can with my children. Time goes by so fast. My 2 eldest are all grown up and my 3rd son is preparing to leave the nest very soon . There is nothing I can do to slow that process down and it saddens me that it moves far too quickly.
I thank God every day for the blessing of my children, each one has a special place in my heart that seems to make it burst at the seams...and then the unbelievable happens one of your children has a child and somehow your heart finds a way to stretch a little more and amazingly keeps beating without imploding!
Little Zev , my first grandchild has taken up residence in my heart amongst my children
and added to this is my son,Anyerins wife and Zevs Mum, Jamie and lovely Miriam ,Rhyss girlfriend/fiance of 7 yrs. My heart feels like its spinning out of control and there are days that I can actually feel it beating inside of my chest.
I pray that my heart will not self combust as each child marries and has their children. I hope my heart can contain it... just think..7 children with 7 spouses ..thats 14 ..now if every couple has 2 children ...thats 14 grandbabys and 14 extra places in my heart.. wow .... thats 28 people to love and hold in my heart...now if there were 3 grandchildren ... thats 21 grandchildren plus 14 equals 35..CRIKEY!!! Lord expand my heart now....LOL!!
If you are contemplating having children, I can highly recommend it.. be prepared , however for you never to be the same. Having children changes everything...nothing will ever be the same again in your life, you will never have a life starved of love and cuddles or smiles or giggles.I pray every day that as much as I have learnt to hold my children tight, that through Gods grace I will know the time to be open handed with them in order to let them fly and be all that God has called them to be.
Enjoy these days , make the most of every moment ..one day you will blink and these days will have gone .
Slow down........YOUR GONNA MISS THIS!!
After lots of Curiosity and many questions on how Anyerin got to Quest as their Worship Director..I thought it would be easier to repost an earlier blog I had posted...So here it tis..........
..
I thought I would share a little of the journey our God has taken me on with my first born son, Anyerin.
When Anyerin was about 4 years old God spoke to me through a passage in the bible in Samuel. It is where Hannah(who was barren) prayed to God for a child.
Hannah was desperate for a child and promised God that if he gave her a child that she would give him back to God. After he was weaned she took him to the temple and gave him to the Priest Eli to raise in Gods service.
In Verse 26 she says to Eli, 'As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. 27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.'
When I read that verse God illuminated it to my spirit ...(some would call it a light bulb moment)..but for me my heart beat faster and I knew that God was asking me to give my son, Anyerin ,completely to Him,for his whole life to be dedicated to the service of the Lord.
I sat down in my loungeroom in Unanderra ,NSW , ....Australia.... and gave him to my God. I cried as the reality set in of what God would require of him. Hannah gave Samuel to Eli the priest to raise at a very early age , I knew that I would not have to do that but I always knew that Anyerin had been set apart from that moment on.
God had big plans for my Son.
Now , at the right time , I dedicated each of my 7 children to the Lord and I promised my God that I would bring each one up teaching them about him and his love for them.
Over the years , each one grew up beautifully ...we had our hardships, including the 4 eldest childrens Father leaving when they were very young. Anyerin was 5 ,Rhys 3, Seth 15 mnths and Bethany yet unborn 3mnths in my womb.
It was at this time God was the most evident in our lives. With so much heart ache in our lives ...the little people and myself clung to God. If the children were crying , missing their Daddy ..we would go to God and ask God to talk to Daddy and show Daddy what he was doing was wrong. Doing that gave us so much comfort as we had someone who could work for us on our behalf. The presence of God would settle on the children. You could actually feel his presence in the room there with us. It says in the bible ...Psalm 68:5-6
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families .....
and Psalm 27:10 says
Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
These scriptures came to life as I prayed them over the children continually.
Anyerin was the big brother , the patient one, the understanding one,the helper..he listened to me as he would find me crying over his Father and he would have wisdom beyond his years as he prayed for his Daddy and I. God gave him to me as a very special gift. I never forgot about the prayer of Hannah that I prayed , giving Anyerin to God and I kept it in the back of my mind. I knew that God had bigger plans........
It was around this time that Anyerins gifts in music became apparent .
He picked up the piano quite easy and he had a little ukelele that he loved playing, thus began his love for music.
ANYERIN AT 4
ANYERIN AT 6
When Anyerin was about 10 years old, I moved up to ....Newcastle.... and remarried.
I gave birth to 3 more children, Meg and our twins Benjamin and James.
In Anyerins early teens he began worship leading at his schools chapel services.
He , Rhys ,Seth and Bethany become a huge part of the chapel services until they all left the college .
Anyerin was School Captain 3 years running as the school entered into Yr 11 and 12 for the first time.
During this time Anyerin joined the youth worship team and ministry team at our church. His first youth Pastor saw the gifts in Anyerin and took him along with him to minister to people in jail through song. He sang and played at youth and Sunday nights and also the main Sunday morning services.
But...God had bigger plans....
He continued at school chapel and once a year would worship lead at a combined schools ministry conference called Empowering.
But still God was not finished with him ...he had Bigger plans....
Finally when he left school he was given the opportunity to be part of the worship team leading worship at an annual Conference held in the....Newcastle.. ..City.. ..Town Hall.... ,called 'Unleashed'.
The following year he was asked to be the Music Director of Unleashed and has been doing so for the past 3 years.
Still God said BIGGER......
During this time he was also asked to lead a team in worship to go tothe Underground Church of Vietnam and teach the youth modern worship songs and worship techniques as well as music dynamics. Jamie Lea, Rhys and Seth accompanied him along with a team from ....Australia..... He has just returned in 2008 from his 3rd year and is overwhelmed at the work God has done in these beautiful people since the first year he met them.
God had not finished with Anyerin yet...He still had BIGGER PLANS.....
Now Anyerin started dating Jamie Lea in Yr11 . They dated for 4 years and December 2006 they were married.
MARRIED AT 19
During their courtship I would often share with Jamie Lea, the story about the prayer of Hannah, that I had prayed for Anyerin all those years before. Year by year I felt that God was preparing me more and more for the time that God would take him from me.
Especially in the past 3years at various times I felt the time was near. God was speaking to my heart at every Unleashed Conference and I would tell Jamie that it wouldn't be long and God would take him. I had the impression from God that God would take Anyerin to a Big church somewhere to lead the worship . I did not know where, but I used to tell Jamie quite often ,as I felt each time, it would be soon.
Once I thought it was with Phil Pringles church (CCC), once with Hillsong ....and once even to CapeTown, South Africa. Each time I was mistaken but I knew that it would be a Big church somewhere. I was just mistaken each time on where. I had a real feeling from God that the time was near for Anyerin to be taken.
As any Mother does , she often takes matters into her own hands , and I began searching the internet for job vacancies for worship leaders /music directors.
All the Australian jobs were part time and mainly voluntary. God had clearly told me that Anyerin would be able to use his gifts and talents that He had given him in a full time capacity.
I clicked on a side link on the page that talked about overseas jobs...and then I clicked another link and then another and there I came across a list of about 30 positions at various churches. The first was a stiff collared ,Anglican looking church and I passed..no Lord , thats not the one..I can't see Anyerin there.
I clicked to the next one..........Quest Community Church.. ..Kentucky..,..USA.....
Everyone was wearing jeans and seemed to be very down to earth ..Oh my Lord I thought , this looks like a bigger version of our church. I clicked on the job description and there it was ...it was almost as if the job was custom made for Anyerin. Everything he had ever done was in the must haves for this job.
I felt my heart sink.....this is it, Isn't it Lord!
............................
During this time was the lead up to Unleashed and Anyerin was leading a team of about 10 and having many rehearsals etc.. in between working and doing our own church worship. He was really tired when I told him about it. Thanks Mum he told me , but right now, at this time I am called to our church here in Medowie and to Unleashed. I told him that I would send the info to his email anyway to have a look.
He continued with his busy schedule ...church, work, unleashed etc...
Then Jamie talked to him about it and they prayed together.
One night Anyerin came over and asked me if he could use the computer .He said to me' Mum , I don't want you to make a big deal of this but....I am going to send my resume to ....Kentucky.... about that job'.
Gods plans were oh , so much bigger than I could have ever thought or imagined......
I turned to Jamie on the lounge and raised my eyebrows...I took a deep breathe and just for a second the world stopped. I let out my breathe and said 'Oh thats good ....(yike! I thought ..this is it...)
Several months .. after much patience, much endurance , another trip to....Vietnam...., many prayers ....and several web cam interviews .Anyerin was told he was on a short list of 7.
He had first put in the application in November and it seemed to be taking such a long time.....It was now June.
People would tell him to pull out as it was taking too long...after all what were the church waiting for ?
But you see..they didn't know , that Our God Had BIGGER PLANS.
Anyerin said to me ..Mum , I'm not waiting on the church ..I am waiting on God. Its all in his hands......
God was teaching him and us so much in all this. To be patient ..teaching us endurance, wisdom and to trust in him alone.
All the while Anyerin and Jamie felt that God was telling them yes, the job was theirs.
It was just a matter of time.
Around July 23rd , 8 months after his first application for this job,Anyerin was offered the position of Music/Arts Director of QuestCommunity Church, Kentucky, whilst he was in ....Vietnam.... he graciously accepted.
How Awesome is God.He knew the plans that he had for Anyerin and Jamie and they were Bigger then Big they were huge!
In the bible,it says in ..Jer 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.'
God is so a God of His word!
(Just a footnote to this blog...Anyerin and Jamie are now in Kentucky at Quest .
I asked them the other day..'Is it all that you expected it to be?'
They replied , ' God has blessed us so much more then we could ever hope or imagine. We really can't put into words what God is doing over here..except to say that everyone we talk to breathes fresh life into our spirits .'.
If that was not enough God has chosen this time to pour out even more blessings to Anyerin and Jamie
In March 2009 ...Jamie will give birth to their first child....Now how awesome is that!!!!!!
God is truly amazing and I know he has been preparing them for such a time as this.I know that God will use Anyerin to lead people into His throne room to worship God as He truly is . It will be wonderful to watch this journey unfold before our eyes.
WELL HERE WE ARE THE 23RD FEB 2009 . I HAVE JUST FINISHED WATCHING ALL 3 SUNDAY SERVICES AT QUEST WHERE THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED ANYERINS FULL TIME APPOINTMENT AS WORSHIP DIRECTOR. IT HAS BEEN AN AMAZING JOURNEY AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING OVER IN EARLY MAY TO VISIT THEM AND THEIR LITTLE BUBBY (WHOM THEY NOW CALL "LITTLE FOOT".)
I WILL ADD ANY UPDATES AS THEY ARISE.
OK ... WELL HERE IT IS 4TH JUNE 2009.
LAST WEEK I GOT BACK FROM VISITING ANYERIN AND JAMIE AND LITTLE FOOT WHOSE NAME IS NOW ZEV JACOB DRURY.
I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS HOW IT FELT TO HOLD MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. HE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND LOKS SO MUCH LIKE HIS DADDY.
I WILL UPDATE IN A LITTLE WHILE , AS MUCH AS I CAN. MY JOURNEY TO QUEST ANDHOW, SINCE THE TIME I HAD THERE , GOD HAS LITERALLY TURNED THE TABLES ON MY LIFE.
I JUST WANTED TO POST A FEW PICS OF LITTLE ZEV AND ANYERIN AND JAMIE.
UNTIL NEXT TIME..GOD BLESS, JEWELLXXX
Another update...
In regards to my note on Anyerins journey to Quest.Thank you so much everyone who wrote a response to my post. You bless me so much. I take no credit for this story what so ever ..it has all been an amazing work of God. What is so beautiful to me is that it wasnt until I wrote the story down that I could see Gods complete handiwork in it. Isnt that just God though.. he leads us just a little step at a time.. I guess if we could see HIS plan from beginning to end our heads may blow off in amazement of Him. To all of you from Quest.. I feel that we have all been cut out of the same batch of cookie dough and I cant wait till the day that I get back there with you all to share the next season of this journey.. already we are in our 6th week of Quest Outreach here on Sunday nights at our local community Centre. It is there that I have been able to share the messages that you have all sat through.. we are in our last weeks of Loaded Questions. It has been amazing as I see people back here at home respond to Gods word through the ministry of Quest. Already 9 people here have already given their lives to Jesus through the ministry of Quest. (7 in one week alone!) Thank you all for everything you do.. from your servants heart . to your obedience with tithing, your prayers for your church there has enabled people all around the world to have fresh living water available to them through the internet and recordings. May the Lord provide for you everything you need to accomplish the work that he has called you all to do. I thank God for you from the bottom of my heart. God bless, Jewell x
OUR LAST FAMILY CHRISTMAS
TRADED IT ALL FOR LOVE
LEXINGTON ~ QUEST COMMUNITY CHURCH
PETE AND JACKIE HISE PASTORS
ANYERIN TODAY AT QUEST
IN THE MEAN TIME PLEASE GO TO www.questcommunity.com and watch previous services through media player or log on to the website 5 times a week to watch the services live. Ask me what the times are in Australian time if you are interested.
May God bless you , Jewell x
ANYERIN AND THE TEAM AT QUEST COMMUNITY CHURCH TODAY
Some of the songs I have come across since Anyerins been at Quest are available on albums through the links below....
Jesus Freak DC TALK
~
You might know about Jesus but do you know HIM.
Do you really know Him and does He know you?
I dare you to move , to look at these questions below and answer them honestly.
In order to believe something we need to have evidence.
With Heaven and Hell hanging in the balance we really need to look at the evidence of our spiritual life.
Examine the evidence and DO something about it..
God made us to love HIM but there are barriers between us and God.
Fear, voices from the past, wrong information of who he is, pride, will all keep us from really knowing him.
Lets break it down.......
There are 5 Marks of a Follower of Jesus.
Answer these questions honestly and then respond .
The 5 Marks :
1. Do you have a clear moment of the time when you accepted Jesus forgiveness into your heart and when you gave him your life?
2. Did you experience a change since that moment and do you now have a desire to follow and obey God.
3. Do you have a lasting joy that operates independantly to your circumstances?
4. Do you feel permanently forgiven of past, present and future sins?
5. Are you fully confident that you will go to Heaven and fully aware of what happens next?
Do you have the confidence that you know Jesus and that he knows you ?
The Bible tells us that we can know without a doubt .
These questions are so important , and you need to answer them while your heart is still beating this side of Eternity.
Look at the evidence of your answers to these questions and then you have a choice of 3 responses.
Responses:
1st response: Blow it off! You do nothing about it at all, after all, these questions make you feel uncomfortable and you dont really care much about it anyway.
2nd response: Roll the dice. Say ...look I hear what you are saying, but I have my own take on this as the voice of pride says, "I'm going my own way, I'm pretty sure I have figured this thing out, I will take my chances , roll the dice and do nothing.
3rd response: Do something about it..
Test yourself.
Does the evidence in your life prove that you are a follower of Christ?.
This deserves a response.
Heaven and Hell are real places and the choices that we make here on earth determine where we will spend our eternity. If we know Christ and He knows us we will spend our eternity with him if not we will spend it apart from him in Hell.
Do you know that he doesn’t want your spiritual resume (all that you have done ) nor does he want you to be good enough. He doesn’t want you to clean yourself up , he doesn’t want you to come to church, he doesn’t want your money, he doesn’t want you to behave to make him happy, he just wants...YOU!
Stop running around doing things that you think will make him happy and just give Him you. He just wants your heart.
Yes just YOU!
HE made YOU to LOVE YOU , so that you can have a relationship with him and be with him one day for all Eternity.
My prayer is that you will do something about it, not just so you can see the people that have gone to heaven before you , but that you can meet Jesus as he really is. He made you to love you .. its the reason you exist!
To Give your heart to Jesus and recieve His forgiveness and Spirit you can talk to him and tell him something like this....
Jesus,
I know that I have sinned, messed up and ignored you in this life and I need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died for my sins on the cross. I want to turn from my sins and give my life to you. I now invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as Lord and Savior.Help me to be able to do that as I recieve your gift of eternal life from you.
In Jesus' name. Amen.
*If you prayed this prayer,please let me know. I would love to chat with you. Jewellx
I have a dream.
I dream of a church in my community with a redemptive heart.
A church where people could go and be truly loved for who they are ...not for what they do or don't do.
A place where a young teenage boy could openly share his addiction to pornography and that he would find others applaud his courage and honesty and come alongside him to help him combat his addiction , rather then scold and shun him.
I have a dream.
Where the drug addict, the prostitute, the homeless and the lonely would be embraced and loved on , in a way that would bring them undone. I have a dream. Where the homosexual , the hetrosexual , the bisexual, the adulterer would be all treated the same. Where the lines are erased and search and rescue teams go out to bring His Love, His Hope, His Grace and His mercy to a dying world. Where walls of judgement and gossip are no longer built and previous walls actively pulled down brick by brick.
I have a dream.
That on entry through the doors of this church , the person would feel the tangible, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of the Father.
I have a dream.
Right now in pockets around the world these churches are rising up... Quest Community Church , NewSpring Church, Transformation House. Cross Point Community Church, Crossroads Church.These churches are just a few of these redemptive communities that are loving a dying world to Him. These churches are modelled on the early church described in Acts 2:42-47 . Its time! Its time to build more of these churches in our communities . Never before has the world needed to hear about the unconditional love of our Saviour then now. For years people in church have judged and condemned anybody who doesnt think like them, or behave the same as them. For years people in churches have ignored and judged the very people Jesus brought them to love and embrace . If you have gone to one of these churches where you have been met with condemnation or you have been ignored, I am sorry.. its not how Jesus intended HIS church to be.
Churches of this new "UPRISING" are going to be popping up all over the place.You will know them They will feel different.
Christians, WE are responsible for THIS Generation of Souls.
Its time for us to shake things up and love the way that Jesus had always intended us to love.
* Remember, THE GROUND AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN LEVEL!!
(If your church is one of these churches , please name them here... it would be great for others to be able to come and visit) Jewell x
One of my all time favourite movies is "The Bridges of Madison County". It speaks about so many aspects of a womans life and who a woman really is under all the duty and sacrifices she makes as a Mum. My favourite Quote from the movie is when Franscesca Johnson shares her heart with Robert Kincaid.
Francesca: "When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother; a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no one has asked in so long. Not even yourself.' I am sure women all over the world have felt these feelings millions of times. The phrase we use today is called, "the empty nest syndrome." There is so much energy put into raising a family, that there is little time left for us Mums. But.children .grow.up.and move on, and then you ask yourself, now what?
I have to admit I have asked myself the same question. It all began when my 3 eldest boys grew up and moved away from home. Even today, I still haven't yet fully recovered from the pain in my heart of not seeing my boys stepping wearily out of bed each morning. Maybe I never will completely recover from it. God has been doing a lot of work in me lately.. like working overtime, as he gently teaches me the very fine art of 'letting go'. With a new season just about to start in my life,God quietly whispers to my heart...Jewell,what if the best was yet to come??? This question brings with it expectation, curiosity and more questions as my mind begins reeling with what ifs? scenarios. Again ... he gently speaks to me and says... 'Rest Jewell, no more striving.. no more trying to figure things out your way....Trust me... one step at a time. As you listen .learn and rest in me , I will give you the desires of your heart.' So here I wait , in quietness and trust that my God has plans for me that no ear has heard and no heart has imagined.. I need to just stop and rest in Him.
To all you Mums who have been down this path already.. I take my hat off to you.. I applaud you and ask for any tips for us younger Mums, that may help ease the pains, as we learn to let our children go, to be all that they are called to be.
The world often SHOUTS.."This is as Good as it gets!"....
Sometimes when you are in the midst of a battle in your life, you seem to be in a thick fog or haze. The world seems to keep on going despite your pain ,and you want to yell ...STOP...EVERYONE STOP...STOP THIS RIDE, I WANT TO GET OFF!
I have learnt that it is in these times it is helpful to imagine you are on a rollercoaster.....
You start to feel the incline and you are on the way to the top , your stomach is starting to become knotted at this stage and you know when you get to the top it is going to be horrific. You have no way of turning back....You settle deep into your seat and hold on tight, gritting your teeth and asking for divine intervention. Suddenly, with an almighty jolt , you are hurdling toward earth, turning left and right, at times at virtual right angles,your stomach and brain change places as you go into a gravity defying roll...and then ......there is always a part of the track that would have you believe that you have made it....it is finally finished.........but oh , no.....here it comes again...... as the g forces take your face places its never been before and then..... it starts all over again...the culmination of this trip is ....WHIPLASH.... the gift you are left with at the end of the ride...but WHO CARES? .YOU HAVE MADE IT THROUGH !!!(and yes your body is still in tact.)...You stumble down the stairs a little wiser, definetly older but triumphant that you have conquered yet another fear and that you have made it through to safe ground!
So if you are going through a tough time ,hold on tight and if possible save a seat in your carriage for Jesus..dig in deep , keep breathing and know that he is riding this crazy ride of life with you. Keep breathing and you will come through older, wiser and with a new appreciation of what is really important in this life( with a little insight into the next life too.)
Pray for me and I will pray for you as we journey through this thing called life remembering always...that through the pain we can have relief...through the sadness we can have joy...and for the in between times ?...there can always be singing and dancing!!!
Have a great day..I know I will choose to have a great one.....God bless, Jewell (written August 2007)
The answer is a definite yes.... but, God will still judge the heart of the person.
How do I know ?
My uncle took his life and my mum and I found him in the car,still running. My initial thought was oh no, he is lost. I was only a new christian at the time and I realised I had not told him about the gospel because I didnt want him to think I was a fruit cake(foolish). He was a famous local footballer and very cool. He was also older then me and my uncle.
Anyway I felt I had let him down and as a result he had gone to hell
BUT MY GOD SHOWED ME OTHERWISE........
A few days after his death we were cleaning out his cupboard and I came across a newspaper clipping that had in large writing on the front page.....
I THINK GODS A PRETTY GOOD BLOKE ( guy)
It was an interview with my uncle and a big picture of him on the front with his head bandaged
It talked about an injury my uncle had , suffering a fractured skull in his footy match.
My uncle told the interviewer how he called out to God to give him back his sight,
as he was due to be married in 5 weeks time.(He had instantly gone blind from the injury)
He told the reporter that he thought God was a pretty good bloke as he had answered his prayer.... and here his testimony was full page on the first page of our local paper.
Later that day , after finding that newspaper clipping ..God made it really clear to me...that if my uncle had called out to the LOrd when he was losing his sight.. how much more would he have called out to God when, this time ,he was preparing to take his life.
It was verified in a scripture the Lord gave me and this verse is now engraved on a plaque on his grave.....Psalm 116:2-7
He listens to me every time I call to him.
The danger of death was all around me, the horrors of the grave closed in on me:
I was filled with fear and anxiety
Then I called out to the Lord,
"I beg you ,Save me Lord!"
The Lord is merciful and good: our God is compassionate.
The Lord protects the helpless:when I was in danger, he saved me.
Be confident my heart,because the Lord has been good to me.
I know my uncle is in heaven now praising with the angels... I know because he called on the name on the Lord .......Our God Truly Is An Awesome God!!!!
Don't ever judge suicide.. because God always looks at the heart . He extended his grace, love and mercy to my uncle, John, as he does to every single one of us.
MY GOD IS GOOD.... ALL THE TIME.......ALL THE TIME .. MY GOD IS GOOD!!!!
I LOVED READING THIS BOOK BY PHILIP YANCEY"WHATS SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE"
ITS AVAILABLE THROUGH AMAZON THROUGH THIS LINK.....
As I sit here in the early hours of the morning with the song Lord of Lords (Hillsong) playing in my ears, I dwell on how holy is our Lord. How precious is our Lord. To think that he drew me with his everlasting love , even as he calls you now to come closer to him. His love is all consuming. He promises to be a Husband to the widow and a Father to the fatherless.. He has been that to me. He is that to me. My husband and I separated a couple of years ago and are remaining reconciled as an offering to the Lord. During this time My Lord holds me close and fills me with his love. I have never known such a pure love. He continually showers me with his love and it makes my eyes weep just at the thought of him.
I have been in this place before. When my former husband left our family home. Myself,several weeks pregnant with my youngest...my eldest 5yrs, next one 3 yrs and youngest son 15mnths.All those years ago the Lord truly became my childrens Father and my husband. I had never known such a fulfilling love until that time. Even now I ache to be in his presence like that again. I understand the scripture "to live is Christ, and to die is gain".Oh, Lord help me to walk every day in your presence. Keep me close to your side..I want to feel your breath on my cheek.
I know I have a work here on this earth, to bring my children up in the ways of the Lord and to teach them how to fight the enemy. We all have a task set before us....but oh, at the end of this race.... what a beautiful prize we will have.
To look into his face and to see him smile at me as he holds me tight ...that is all the reward I will need.
I pray for you, and I ask that you pray for me...so that we can remain strong and all finish the race that has been set before us.
One day we will join together with the saints and all worship him saying Holy Lord, you are holy. Jesus Christ is the Lord.......Holy Holy Holy...Unto the Lamb who sits on the throne, be glory and honour and praise.Amen
God bless you all and nigh nigh sweet dreams, Jewell x
I went to our ladies monthly meeting this morning and listened to a beautiful woman by the name of Sonia Richardson. She taught me so much ..that I will share in bulletins over the coming weeks .
One amazing thing she shared was about eagles.
Now we all know the scripture that tells us ;
"But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."
Well did you know that the eagle is the only creature that has been created with the ability to renew its own life force.
The most dangerous threat to the life of an eagle is the tumors that grow either side of the beak and between the talons. These tumors develop at the age of around forty or fifty years and when on the beak, the sight is drastically impaired and the poor bird will kill itself flying into cliffs and trees. Likewise the talons, the tumrs prevent the bird from picking up its prey.
The majority of male eagles choose a younger mate and, with a life span of approximately sixty years, they will do anything to prolong their life of sharing.
And so God , in all his wisdom instilled in them a miraculous ritual that gives the ability to add up to twenty years to their life.
When the tumors become a threat, the eagle will fly up into the atmosphere and towards the sun, always choosing an area above water mass. He will fly so high that the pressure is powerful enough to rupture the tumors and as he plummets back to earth at up to 200mph,he slows to 100mph just before he hits the water below. Some birds simply explode with the air pressur, others are killed on impact with the water surface, but the majority, while stunned, survive and allow the current to wash them to shore. There , they spend up to ten days recovering and during this period they pluck out their plumage.
The air pressure ruptures their tumors, the water washes and cleanses all of the damaged tissue and by plucking their feathers out, it allows new growth to bring in all the new and strong plummage. They then return to their waiting mate and can live for as much as twenty years longer. ...excerpt from the book "For my Tommorrows" by Sonia Richardson
Isnt that an amazing fact....any wonder that God gave us that verse in scripture. When we push through our circumstances, through the things that bring us down , and press into God. ...When we push aside everything that holds us back and press into God...it is then that we are given renewed strength and the energy to keep going. It takes a lot of hard work to push aside and throw behind us the weight and cares of this world and yet when we do , we get to touch the very atmosphere in which God lives, and are renewed by his spirit and restored by his strength.
My prayer is that Sonia will continue to soar on wings of eagles , though the sickness in her body would try to take her out ....that she would be restored to do the work that God has called her to do.
I also pray that we all will run to God with our concerns , our worries, our burdens and our sicknesses. Gods promise is that He will renew our strength and that we too will soar like eagles . Amen
God bless you all and have a great day. Next time you see an Eagle watch him soar!!! Jewell x
EAGLES WINGS ~ HILLSONG
written Saturday, September 15, 2007
TO GET EAGLES WINGS YOU CAN GET "BY YOUR SIDE"~HILLSONGS ALBUM THROUGH THIS LINK...
Hi everyone, Well this morning I left home at 4 am to drive to Sydney International airport to pick up my Mum.
She has been in Saudi Arabia for almost 2 years and I have missed her terribly ,as have the children.
She is my best friend, she understands me ,loves me unconditionally and I adore her.
It is almost as if at times we are one...we have a similar sense of humour , and always finish each others sentences.
Sometimes I know exactly what she is about to say...we know the songs we are both referring to,share memories and sayings that no one else can understand..and laugh at each other when everyone is standing there unaware of what is going on.
I thank My God for my Mum everyday. She has been through some mighty battles...some of which I was with her through...and she still gives generously, hopes,loves and believes all things.
When I hear people complaining about troubles in their lives and they do not stand strong...it troubles me. I realised the other day that I have always taken strength to face certain obstacles for granted.
Strength was always something role modelled to me by Mum. Not deliberately ,but by seeing it in action. Mum would always be overcoming in all areas of her life. She was molested at a young age, a battered wife by an alcoholic husband who flew into rages at any given moment, and a single Mum who did her best to raise 3 young girls whilst sometimes working 2 jobs.
I always knew she loved me and she would bless me with big and little blessings from time to time . Simple things like putting a fresh vase of Jasmine in spring on my dressing table. The smell would permeate my room making me feel pretty and feminine. Even today, Jasmine still takes me back to a safe place where my room was pretty and I felt beautiful.
Memories are the best things we can leave our children. My childhood memories are mixed with some horrid times...my sisters , my Mum and I hiding in a cupboard awaiting my Fathers return home from work...we would gage his footsteps and murmors when he came in. Most of the time we would escape through a bedroom window as Dad found our hiding spots , only to have him chase us and drag Mum home by her hair and he would beat her mercilessly.There were also times when I would witness my mother being kicked and beaten until she lay there unable to move ,bruised and bleeding body, whilst my Father yelled abuse over her. I would always run to her aid and she would tell me that "things would be better tommorrow".
Some tommorrows were better but the majority were not and finally Mum found the courage inside herself to leave my Father for good.
She taught me how to love despite your pain...and to always put on a brave face as there was always someone worse off then ourselves.
Statistics were against us.....but Mums love pulled us through. I didnt know it at the time but I also believe that Gods hand was upon us all and despite the pain he kept us all from dying.
My Father is now an old man...and is very repentant for what he did. He has led a self inflicted life of pain and suffering, believing that he did not deserve anything else for what he put his family through.He has been isolated from us for many years. I keep in contact with him through phone calls and he has been to my house twice in 10 years. I have forgiven my Father, but he cannot forgive himself. He continually asks God to forgive him , but feels very unworthy of accepting forgiveness.He lives a very lonely life and he would have it no other way.
My Mother , however is surrounded by her family who love her. She is adored and cherished and knows how much she is loved. Her battles in earlier life have been replaced with a peace and love and joy that passes all understanding. She knows that she is loved unconditionally and she also knows that she has left a huge legacy for her children and Grandchildren.
To all of you Mums out there, never underestimate the power of your love for your child. Despite troubles and hardship, mistakes and pain..if your children know that they are loved you have done the job that God has called you to do.They will grow up strong and courages ....
If you are blessed enough to have found faith in Jesus, and you can share your faith with your children as well.....Well you have just had a major role in raising a child warrior. A child who through your and Christs love Can Truly Do All THings Through Christ Who Will Strengthen Them!...Strong and Courages in Life....Always knowing that they have been created for such a time as this. They will know their place in this world and it will be hand in hand with our Lord Jesus as they battle everything that Satan and this world will bring against them. They will be more then Conquerors! More then Warriors...For They have Been Created For A Purpose....For such a Time As This!
So Mums if you do anything today , dont forget the most important thing you can do in your childs life.....Tell them You love them , Model to them a Victors life...and equip them with the knowledge of who they are in Christ....Time is short and there is so many people perishing everyday who do not know the saving love of Our Saviour.
This is our purpose on earth........that all will come to know the love of God.....I will pray for you...and you pray for me ....us Mums,we have been called to do a mighty job...not only for this generation, but for those yet to come!
We were born for such a time as this!
Take courage and stand firm in love...and remember...
