God Blessed the Broken Road.....

Looking back over my life I feel like I am one of the blessed women on the planet......

I was raised in a home where my Dad was an alcoholic and most nights were filled with the sounds and sights of Dads anger and violent outbursts as he hit my Mum . We girls would sit in fear , hiding in our rooms or cupboards with our tummies aching as we waited for things to calm down until Dad had finally had enough and went off to bed.

We always felt loved  by Mum and strangely enough by Dad too as when he wasnt drinking he was a nice man.  We entered and re-entered schools up and down the north and South Coasts of Australia more then 20 times during the primary school years, due to Mum and Dads continual separation followed by many  reconcilliations. It was hard making friends knowing that I could never invite them home because of Dads outbursts and violent behaviour.


Finally when I was around 11 years old , Mum found courage to leave Dad for good and it was then that we moved to Wollongong permanently.
I was a very happy child but was tormented often by our past . I somehow attained a real loyalty for my Dad and gave Mum a hard time as she tried to start a new life romantically. Looking back, as a young girl, I think I wanted my Mum to myself and didnt want to share her with anyone else.


From a young age , I knew that the only thing I really wanted to do with my life was to become a Mum and Wife.. probably in that order too.

I had a perfect picture of what I thought my life would be. I wouldnt settle for less.  The requirements would be simple that He would love me as much as I loved him. That we would have many children , and that our home would be filled with music, laughter and happiness. No walking on eggshells...and wondering what would happen next for my children.

When I did finally marry at 20 years of age, I was 3 months pregnant with my first son .
I had met the man of my dreams and he had won my heart. He had a wonderful sense of humour and made me laugh , he was extremely good looking and loved me so much. 7 years later with 3 children and pregnant with my 4th he left our family home and took my heart with him. It was during this time I was so thankful that I had found faith in Jesus when I was 21. Sounds crazy for those of you who havent experienced him, but He literally became my life line . He poured so much  hope and love into my heart as I raised my children.  His love for us all was tangible and my children could sense him in our home as they grew.  It wasnt something that just happened though. Everyday I would choose to think the way he thought  and I would search for his way to raise my children. I sought out people who knew him and those whose faith I admired,  to spend time with. My heart was sore everyday...it was as if I could feel each part of my heart.  Each segment had its own bruise and very slowly over a long time  those bruises began to heal. I realised that no matter what my husband thought of me... or that he no longer had a desire for me , I had found a God who desired me and was pursuing me with everything he had.



5 years went by and I met a wonderful man whom I later married. He was so different from my former husband. He was secure and stable , older then me and someone I felt would look after my children and I.  My love for him was different too , maybe because I was a little older and wiser. I was not in a fantasy world, thinking that he would  " complete me". I had my God in whom I felt loved and cherished, my beautiful children to nurture and everything seemed right with the world.

We had 3 more children together. Twins were the icing on the cake....
Raising seven little Australians had its trying times but also some of the most beautiful moments  of my life.  In fact the most beautiful memories always have one or several children wrapped up in the middle of them. We had some difficult times and after 5 years of marriage and several years of being together , we made a mutual decision to separate. We would do things a little different to the "norm" and we would stay friends and simply live in different places. It released the whole family from the day to day pressures of stress and allowed peace and happiness to reign in our home and his.
We would live "outside the box" that most people choose to live but it worked and continues to work for us even to this day.


The empty nest syndrome was not something that I had prepared myself at all for.... in fact I hadnt quite understood it all and felt that when ALL the children left home I would probably experience it .
It has taken 3 years , and I think I am nearly there. The past 6mnths have been an  incredible time of growth to the point that everything that I had held important to me , I have had to let go . These expectations that I was continually putting on others, were robbing me of the simple joys and pleasures of everyday life.  It was as if God was placing all these blessings at my feet and I was looking everywhere else , except at those very  blessings.

I am so grateful for everything that has happened in my life. Those times and Gods grace. love and mercy have made me who I am today. Even though I still have days when things literally hit the proverbial fan, I know that with my hand, in the hand of the God of this Universe.. nothing can happen that can steal my perfect peace.  I know that he is working "all things for my good and for the good of those around me".  In saying good, I mean,  that he is working ALL things so that you and I might come closer to him, that we would see him for who he really is.  Each day I am coming to realise how much he truly loves me. It is no longer a fantasy .. no longer just a line from another romantic movie...
I can now say , from the fullness of my heart.... that "He completes me"


He has truly blessed the broken road of my life and led me straight to his heart.
The words of this song share perfectly how I feel about him........


"Bless The Broken Road"

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.