Whilst sitting here trying to think of words to share about how I feel about My Saviour.... I came across this song..... It spoke everything I wanted to say........ So this is me, sitting down with Him, singing him a love song ,from the depths of my heart ....... I hope it becomes your love song to him too...
"Can't take my eyes off you" Lady Antebellum
I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came
So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you
I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just *wake* up And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, *but it's never too much* I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my walls
So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you
Looking back over my life I feel like I am one of the blessed women on the planet......
I was raised in a home where my Dad was an alcoholic and most nights were filled with the sounds and sights of Dads anger and violent outbursts as he hit my Mum . We girls would sit in fear , hiding in our rooms or cupboards with our tummies aching as we waited for things to calm down until Dad had finally had enough and went off to bed.
We always felt loved by Mum and strangely enough by Dad too as when he wasnt drinking he was a nice man. We entered and re-entered schools up and down the north and South Coasts of Australia more then 20 times during the primary school years, due to Mum and Dads continual separation followed by many reconcilliations. It was hard making friends knowing that I could never invite them home because of Dads outbursts and violent behaviour.
Finally when I was around 11 years old , Mum found courage to leave Dad for good and it was then that we moved to Wollongong permanently.
I was a very happy child but was tormented often by our past . I somehow attained a real loyalty for my Dad and gave Mum a hard time as she tried to start a new life romantically. Looking back, as a young girl, I think I wanted my Mum to myself and didnt want to share her with anyone else.
From a young age , I knew that the only thing I really wanted to do with my life was to become a Mum and Wife.. probably in that order too.
I had a perfect picture of what I thought my life would be. I wouldnt settle for less. The requirements would be simple that He would love me as much as I loved him. That we would have many children , and that our home would be filled with music, laughter and happiness. No walking on eggshells...and wondering what would happen next for my children.
When I did finally marry at 20 years of age, I was 3 months pregnant with my first son .
I had met the man of my dreams and he had won my heart. He had a wonderful sense of humour and made me laugh , he was extremely good looking and loved me so much. 7 years later with 3 children and pregnant with my 4th he left our family home and took my heart with him. It was during this time I was so thankful that I had found faith in Jesus when I was 21. Sounds crazy for those of you who havent experienced him, but He literally became my life line . He poured so much hope and love into my heart as I raised my children. His love for us all was tangible and my children could sense him in our home as they grew. It wasnt something that just happened though. Everyday I would choose to think the way he thought and I would search for his way to raise my children. I sought out people who knew him and those whose faith I admired, to spend time with. My heart was sore everyday...it was as if I could feel each part of my heart. Each segment had its own bruise and very slowly over a long time those bruises began to heal. I realised that no matter what my husband thought of me... or that he no longer had a desire for me , I had found a God who desired me and was pursuing me with everything he had.
5 years went by and I met a wonderful man whom I later married. He was so different from my former husband. He was secure and stable , older then me and someone I felt would look after my children and I. My love for him was different too , maybe because I was a little older and wiser. I was not in a fantasy world, thinking that he would " complete me". I had my God in whom I felt loved and cherished, my beautiful children to nurture and everything seemed right with the world.
We had 3 more children together. Twins were the icing on the cake....
Raising seven little Australians had its trying times but also some of the most beautiful moments of my life. In fact the most beautiful memories always have one or several children wrapped up in the middle of them. We had some difficult times and after 5 years of marriage and several years of being together , we made a mutual decision to separate. We would do things a little different to the "norm" and we would stay friends and simply live in different places. It released the whole family from the day to day pressures of stress and allowed peace and happiness to reign in our home and his.
We would live "outside the box" that most people choose to live but it worked and continues to work for us even to this day.
The empty nest syndrome was not something that I had prepared myself at all for.... in fact I hadnt quite understood it all and felt that when ALL the children left home I would probably experience it .
It has taken 3 years , and I think I am nearly there. The past 6mnths have been an incredible time of growth to the point that everything that I had held important to me , I have had to let go . These expectations that I was continually putting on others, were robbing me of the simple joys and pleasures of everyday life. It was as if God was placing all these blessings at my feet and I was looking everywhere else , except at those very blessings.
I am so grateful for everything that has happened in my life. Those times and Gods grace. love and mercy have made me who I am today. Even though I still have days when things literally hit the proverbial fan, I know that with my hand, in the hand of the God of this Universe.. nothing can happen that can steal my perfect peace. I know that he is working "all things for my good and for the good of those around me". In saying good, I mean, that he is working ALL things so that you and I might come closer to him, that we would see him for who he really is. Each day I am coming to realise how much he truly loves me. It is no longer a fantasy .. no longer just a line from another romantic movie...
I can now say , from the fullness of my heart.... that "He completes me"
He has truly blessed the broken road of my life and led me straight to his heart.
The words of this song share perfectly how I feel about him........
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
[Chorus]
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
I have had this song going over and over in my mind....
It describes everything I feel about my God.
I drink him in like water.... I drink him like an everlasting love...I drink him like Freedom..
He is the only thing I have found in this life that truly satisfies.
He is more intimate then any lover could ever be... he beckons me to come closer ..to feel his very breath upon my face.
He leads me to a place where I find peace and rest and stillness...
All the while he whispers... drink me like water... drink me like freedom... drink me like the nectar that falls from Eden....
I am the reason you smile he speaks...
When you can't see the way ahead...I am the timeless light that illluminates your way
When you are tired and cant go any further ... I will carry you until I set your feet on higher ground
I become the sparkle in your eyes again as you rest and trust in me......
I have been here with you all along...stop.... now breathe for a moment... Can you hear my heart beating with yours?... Can you feel my breath rise and fall with yours?
Our breathing is melodic ...like a song ...perfectly harmonised.
You were searching in the heights and deep into the valleys .. you wore yourself out searching for me.... only to find I have been here all along...closer then your breath... between your breath and sinews I reside.....
I will never leave you ... never forsake you... nor will you ever be loved by any other so deeply as I have loved you...... I am yours and you are mine.....I offer you love .. love and more love.....Drink me in <3 <3 <3
Everlasting Love by Ed Kowalczyk
Oh What Dreams have we here?
Such vivid colors in all the clothes that you wear
You alone ~you are the secret makes mona lisa smile.
You alone ~you are the sign that Love is true..thats its really here
Now I drink you like water
Drink you like Freedom
Drink you like the nectar that falls from Eden
Drink you like water
Drink you like the Everlasting Love!
Oh its borrowed time we're livin on ,
But I dont care anymore I got you, I'm breakin off this weight
You alone~ you are the timeless light that illuminates my way
You alone ~you are the sparkle in my eye everyone can see
Its a miracle that I found you here next to me
I heard you breathin, I feel your song
Over mountains so high and rivers so wide ,
I tried to find you......
Now I drink you like water
Drink you like Freedom
Drink you like the nectar that falls from Eden
Drink you like water
Drink you like the Everlasting Love!!!
No one can make you believe or convince you about Gods existence.. not even all the head knowledge in the world will convince someone of his existence.
But know this ...God is pursuing every one of us , even now.
For some they may sense him in the setting of the sun, others may sense him as they walk along the beach..some see the proof of Gods existence when they look into the face of their children......
For me personally , I first sensed him in the hopelessness and heartache of my Nannas death.
One thing is for certain ......you will sense him or feel him at various times in your life.
Once you sense him, you have 2 choices.
You can merely ignore him and just keep walking through life or you can choose to stop, acknowledge him and take a step closer to him.
How do you do that?
Go to someone who has experienced and knows God for themselves .
God always places people in your path that know Him ,so that they can steer you toward him or introduce you to Him.
Go to someone who you trust , someone who is real with their faith.
By real .. I mean someone who isnt religious .
(You can tell the difference.)
Oh and remember... the next time you look at a sunset ...or stand on the top of a mountain...close your eyes for a minute and breathe in..... that day just might be the day that you sense and feel Him standing there next to you ♥ ♥ ♥
THIS IS A TRUE STORY THAT BREAKS MY HEART AND BECKONS THESE QUESTIONS..
.
How did this family slip through? How did they go unnoticed in this world?
Would we have stopped to help or would we have left it to someone else to "fix"?.....
I wonder what Jesus would have done had he met this family?........
This past week, 3 young men aged 31,25 and 21 all with some form of intellectual disability were left stranded in a car park when their mother collapsed at the wheel and was taken to hospital.
The family had been living in their car for some months as they were unable to obtain permanent accommodation.
The people of All Saints Church , Nelson Bay were the last from a very line of people to help these young men.
Most chose not to help , stating that they didnt have services for such a predicament.
The police finally rang All Saints, a church whose average age of people is 70 years of age.
They themselves did not have the facility either but put the men into a cabin in a local caravan park
A couple of the ladies from All Saints had the sad job of going to the men the day after to explain to them that their Mum had died in hospital.'
She had been suffering from cancer for a long time . The tumour was so big it had broken through her chest wall and was protruding from her skin. She and her boys travelled around and stopped off at motels until the money run out .. when they simply lived in their car until it was payday again.
For the next few days after the Mums death around 10 people from All saints provided the boys with accommodation , Breakfast and an evening meal . clothes and money for lunches.
The boys shared that it was difficult for them to understand why "perfect strangers" would want to help them.
They said "No one has ever done anything like this for us before "
There was only one known person who knew the family longer then 7 days.
Their Mum was buried late last week and below is a part of the eulogy that was said by one of the boys . ( 2 of the ladies articulated things for him as he shared.....)
JAMIES EULOGY TO HIS MUM.....
I guess one of the things about Mum was her stubborness . It showed in everything she did.
She prayed for me when I was sick.
I was a premature baby born 1lb at 26 weeks , 6th June, 1989 at John Hunter Hospital
I felt warmed when Mum prayed like some sort of energy going through me.
I thought it was a dream but it was Mums prayer and my guardian angel holding my hand.
Mum always loved Jimmy Hendrix.
She also loved her car , it as a part of her...
She had great driving skills , steady hands that kept us on the path.
Mum taught us about the dangers of smoking, drinking, and drugs... the values of a clean mind, spirit and soul.
We have followed that advice to the letter.
In the past 2 years and 9 months we have been moving from shelter to shelter.
Her warm arms kept us from the cold.
Mum protected us when we were young and we tried to protect her when she was very sick.
But , in the end.... like everything in life...death has to take us away.
We wont think on our sadness , but embrace the love that she gave us.
May God keep her in his peace and loving arms ,
you will be in our hearts forever ...
We love you Mum love Jamie, Keith and Andrew, Amen
*Please pray for these young men. They have been given a home and some carers have been assigned to them.
Could it be that the place where you are not surrendering control to God, is the place you are not experiencing peace? There can be no peace where there is no surrender...
Isaiah 48: 18 says....."If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river"........
There has been countless times in my life where I have had to choose surrender . Its one of the hardest things that I am learning..just when you think you've got this thing under wraps... another opportunity comes along which is often harder then the last time. Surrender requires a surrender of your very self. Its as if our very heart strings are attached to the other person or thing.
Where do you start ?
How do you do surrender ?
Pastor John Kohler once asked me, " How do you eat an elephant?"
He replied with the answer.."one bite at a time...."
This piece of advice has held me in good stead for many years.
First things first.
*Acknowledge that area, person or situation where you are being robbed of peace. That person, place or thing that is taking your thoughts, your time and your heart away from experiencing peace, freedom and joy in your life.
* Lay YOUR expectation or desire to control the person or situation, down...
*Lay down at his feet your desire for things to go a certain way...
At times it feels like strips of skin are being torn off you ..as little by little you surrender that area or that desire of your heart to God.
*Don't just do it once, continue to do it EVERYTIME, you feel the desire .
Saying ..Lord, you know what my heart wants... but I only want the best from you in my life so I will give that to you .
If its from God by giving it to him it will surely come to pass.
In Matthew 6verse 33 , the Bible says... " Seek the Kingdom of God above ALL else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."...in other words let your first care be for His kingdom and His righteousness: and all these other things will be given to you in addition.
Once we get that Capital T truth fixed firmly in our minds and heart .. the Peace of God follows..
Start today.. take that first bite of the elephant.. it will take you a while to learn how to do it,just like all the good things in life that take time to flourish....
One day you will be able to hand everything over to him...you will learn to trust him as you experience His Peace...
Oh ....one more important thing.....
Remember you cant produce Peace.... you cultivate it <3
Pray this prayer and then let his peace flow over you through the words to this beautiful song by Kim Walker...
Lord ..
In the place where I am welcoming stress, anxiety, control, anger or unforgiveness..Lord I come to you and surrender that area of my life to you and ask for exchange YOUR PEACE..that peace that passes All understanding..that peace that brings perfect peace in my mind heart and body..I open my hands to you in surrender Lord, in Jesus name...Amen <3 <3 <3
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God
what you need, and thank him for all he has done".....Philippians 4:6
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is fixed on you, because he
trusts in you."..Isaiah 26:3
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at All times and in
every situation. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
In the middle of our chaos God promises that as we open our clenched hands to him . and trust him...... he will give us HIS peace.. a peace that passes ALL understanding.
He does it for me and he will do it for you ♥ ♥ ♥
I heard Helen Musick, (Pastor from Quest Community Church) explain it this way...
It was test time... for her students at College.
They all sat down at their tables ready to take the test.. this was going to be a big one.. a major test of their course.
Helen handed out each individual test paper and placed it back to front on each students table..she then asked them to turn the test paper and begin.
As each one turned the test over they began shifting uneasy in their chair...some looked around. Others just looked blankly ahead..
Helen had in fact,written the correct answers to every question on each ones paper.
Pages and pages of correct answers...
Helen explained that all they had to do to accept the 100% mark was to put their name on the top of that test paper.
One student raised her hand and with tears in her eyes said.."Do you mean,this will be accredited as my work?"
"Yes" , replied Helen (This young girl was a bright student but when it came to tests.. she often failed due to nervousness) She immediately wrote her name on the test paper.
However one student stood up and said.. "You mean all the study and late nights I have put into it, isnt going to count, it means nothing?"
"No" said Helen.. "it won't count at all."
Indignant, he refused to sign his name .The class was divided , should they put their name to the test and have this unmerited 100% given to them , freely..with no strings attached?Helen explained to them, "There were things I put in this test that you haven't even learn't yet There is no way that you could get 100% on your own, no matter how much work you put into this.".
Some started to write their name on the paper.. but still a few resisted.
Helen went on...."THIS IS THE SAME GRACE THAT GOD EXTENDS TO US..No matter how hard we try or how good we are.
God says.. it means nothing.I sent my son to die for , not to make you good , but so that you would be mine.
You dont have to do anything but let me love you....
his is my gift of Grace to you...Come to me and let me love you ."
I put my name on my test paper 23 years ago ,and have tasted of this unmerited Grace every day since.....even the days when I mess up.. I know that he sees me with an A on my test paper and he picks up , and then, together, we start over...
What are you going to do with your test paper today?
