A Day In The Life Of Gertrude (part 1)

* Written as a letter to my Mum whilst she was in Saudi Arabia (written 2006)


ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD IN A FAR AWAY PLACE ...............THERE LIVED AN OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE SHE HAD SO MANY CHILDREN... SHE DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO.......



Once upon a time this woman, whom we shall call Gertrude, woke up. Well that was her first mistake! She had a big day ahead of her. She woke her young daughter missy. Her daughter responded wearily,"I don't want to go to school anymore".

Well, Gertrude had heard this phrase repeated many times ,from the lips of many children who were weary first thing in the morning.

"Come on up you get"said Gerty....."Could you write a letter asking my teacher if I could sit next to Elise from now on. That boy BJ who I am sitting next to hit me in the eye with a crayon yesterday and made me cry." said Missy. "Did you tell your teacher", Gerty asked. "Yes" said Missy, "he told me to go and wash my face and to settle down."..."Mummy will fix it" said Gertrude, as she ran Missy a shower.

Gerty took a deep breathe.

Now ..... she went into the kitchen and started dicing watermelon to serve with ski yoghurt( not yoplait or bruggenn yogurt ...it took many many days to hunt down the right brand , right flavour at the local bilo store)
Two little people come out of the bedroom, eyes big and bodies re-energised from their nights sleep in Gertys bed......In Gertys mind the theme to Jaws began to play....Dah... Dum...Dah..... Dum... getting faster and faster and louder and louder........DahDum..Dahdum Dahdum.....SHE KNEW HER DAY HAD BEGUN....SHE BEGAN TO PRAY....LORD GIVE ME ENERGY LORD ITS GONNA BE A LONG DAY...........

PART 2 NEXT....

A Day In The Life Of Gertrude ( part 2 )

A day in the life of Gertrude part 2

SO where were we...thats right cutting up watermelon with designer yoghurt for dipping.Gerty greeted the little men Good morning and told them that brekky was on its way.She told them of the designer brekky.....
"I dont want watermelon, its got seeds" said master Benny.
"I like watermelon, I spit the seeds out!" said Master James.
One down thought Gerty.She gave James breakfast.

OOPS... Missy will be a wrinkled prune ...Gerty runs in and washes her hair.
"Mum!", Missy yells.."YOUR GETTING SHAMPOO IN MY EYES."
Gertrude holds her tongues quickly conditions and gets Missy out.

She runs ahead of Princess Missy to light the heater so Missy can dry herself off in comfort. Gerty lays out princess missys school clothes neatly on the lounge.
"I hate those undies!", says Missy.. "I want the ones with the bows....Nanna bought me ones with bows."
"O.k." says Gertrude, "I will get the ones with the bows for you",as she looks through the folding pile.
(*The folding pile is a very dangerous place...it has been said that some people become lost in that folding pile ,never to return.)

"I FOUND THEM, THE ONES WITH THE BOWS", cried Gertrude, as she stepped out of the pile. She felt that trumpets should have at least sounded at her marvelous feat!!!!!!!!

"Where are my jeans Mum?", asks Bethy. Bethy is now awake.
"Not sure", says Gerty, (Please dont send me back to the dreaded pile....thought Gerty)..."I think they are wet in the washing machine".
"AAWWW I need them for school today!!", replies Bethy.
"You'll have to put them in the dryer" said Gerty, "you still have time."
Bethy obeys and then heads for the shower.

"I'm hungry", says Benny."Your watermelons there" says Gerty.
"I dont want watermelon..its got seeds",says Benny.
A small voice is heard from the loungeroom it is James..
"I love seeds... I spit them out! "
DARJEVOU? Or is this just a new day...what day is it?, thought Gerty to herself
"I'm hungry" says Benny.
Well what do you want?" asks Gerty."You can have..1. toast 2.an apple 3.weetbix 4. yogurt 5.watermelon."
"None of those..I want something else", answers Benny.



Missy comes in for brekky. "Mum,Dont forget to write a letter to my teacher." says Missy.
Gerty gives missy her watermelon and ski yogurt and looks for a pen .
Textas, paperclips, crayons, red pens... aaarrggghhhh no blue or black pen.She sees one in the distance..... she reaches for it and starts writing....

Dear Mr V, Missy came home yesterday with tears in her eyes saying to me, Mummmy why did God make people unkind? She then burst into tears......etc............etc...............please allow her to sit next to Elise as I would like her school day memories to be pleasant ones. yours in christ, Gerty.

"I'm hungry!" says Benny. "Well what do you want?" asks Gerty patiently.

Annie awakes walks out bare chested."Mum did you hear about the closest star to uranus?" asks Annie.
"Not before breakfast Son", said Gerty.
"Go and have a shower!"

Annie half asleep walks toward the shower opens the door.....AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
"I'm in here!!" says Bethy.

Annie lies on Missys bed next to Buddy. Buddy the cat lives his life in pure luxury in this house and imagines that this is actually his house and we are his servants. He is also a little deluded in his thinking as he is convinced he is a small baby about 3 months old....needing to be carried everywhere.

"I'm hungry!"says Benny.
"Have watermelon", says James from the loungeroom.
"I DONT LIKE SEEDS!!!",scolds Benny.
"I LOVE SEEDS", says James, "I SPIT THEM OUT!!"

"Are my jeans dry mum?", pipes up Bethy .
"Check!"says Gerty .

"Mum ....I'm hungry!!" , Benny repeats himself again.
"What do you want to eat Ben?" says Gerty.

Bethy gets herself ready and finally we are ready for school.

"What about lunch?",says Bethy.
"Oops!", says Gerty as she asks them what they want.
"I will have a chicken sandwich", says Missy.
(A fresh Foul was bought last night for Missy for such an occasion)
"I will buy mine", announces Bethy.(Great thinks Gerty another one down )
Gerty pops popcorn, dices more watermelon and packs missys bag.... and off we go to school.

"What about my letter?" says Missy.
Oops!.... Gerty runs back to the kitchen and picks up the letter and places it in Missys zippered pocket.

"I'm hungry!",demands Benny.... "What do you want to eat Benny? You'll have to wait till we get home from school the girls are late." says Gertrude. Shelooks at the clock it says 9.25.....it is only 9.15 really but Gerty had wound the clock forward ten minutes in an attempt to be on time,but, alas, it doesnt seem to be working.

Finally we are really off to school...........................
Part 3 next

A Day in The Life Of Gertrude Part3)

A day in the life of Gertrude Part 3

On the way to school, Gerty turns to Bethy.
"Did you have brekky?" she asks.
"Yes I had a piece of bread." replies Beth.
Gerty shakes her head.

"I'm hungry". is heard from the back seat.
"You'll have to wait till you get home Benny." says Gerty.
"Have a nice day at school girls." says Gerty.
She prays over the letter as she watches her girls walk to the office to get yet another late note.

"I'm hungry Mum"....yep Benny again.
"O.k lets go home guys." says Gerty
Annie meets us at the door as he leaves to teach guitar. "Oh Mum", he says as he heads for the car.."I'll tell you more about Uranus when I get home".. "Ok Matey.. look forward to it " says Gerty....

"I'm hungry" says Benny.
"O.k", says Gerty..."listen to me you can have 1.Toast 2.weetbix 3.apple 4.yogurt 5.Watermelon"

"Have Watermelon" says James.
"JAMES I HATE THE SEEDS .GGRRR!.. JUST BE QUIET JAMES YOUR NOT LISTENING TO ME." says Benny through clenched teeth.
"I love watermelon", says James."I spit out the seeds!!"



The phone rings. It is Gertys Aunt Beryl in QLD.

A SCUFFLE BREAKS OUT IN THE LOUNGEROOM

"Hi" , says Gerty, "its so nice of you to call.No..this isnt a bad time."

"MUM I AM HUNGRY.....NOW!!", demands Benny.
"What is he saying?", asks Beryl.
"Oh, he is hungry that's all",says Gerty.
"MUM I'M HUNGRY." stomps Benny

"I'm just on the phone Benny." replies Gerty
"I'M HUNGRY" shouts Benny.
"Get him something, I'll wait", says Beryl
"What do you want to eat?",says Gerty exhausted.

"I WANT JUNK FOOD." says Benny quietly.
"Did he say junk food?" enquires beryl.
"Yes" laughs Gerty.
"HERE BENNY TAKE THESE CHOCOLATES AND ENJOY!!" SAYS GERTY.
She finally gives in and buckles under the pressure.

All her good intentions for feeding her child a healthy breakfast goes out the door.(Note to self........always have a secret stash of chocolates for that day when you decide to give your children a good start to the day. HHHHEEELLLPPPP MMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)Part 4 next

A Day In the Life of Gertrude (Part 4)

A day in the life of Gertrude Part 4

The day has begun....if only I drank coffee thought Gertrude.
She has a partime job, cleaning homes. More a ministry actually, to come alongside busy Women and clean and pretty their home so they feel relieved and refreshed. The service includes flowers from Gertys own garden and a saying for the week to encourage and lift up the lady of the house.....

THE SAYING FOR TODAY READS.....(written on a chalkboard)WELCOME TO OUR HOME. Our home is our sanctuary, where the world and all its problems are held at bay from us.It is our little piece of heaven here on earth.

Before leaving for work( she is blessed to be able to take Benny and James with her)... Gertrude has prepared James and Bennys spiderman lunch boxes filled with a chicken sandwhich, popcorn, an apple and a frozen popper juice.The boys know the routine. They pick out a dvd and open their lunchboxes.

Jimmy Neutron is the chosen dvd.....Gerty makes a cuppa....cleans the kitchen and arranges her hand picked flowers in a vase. They are placed on the dining table for all to see when the front door opens.Washing machine goes on next. (May as well while I'm here)
Bathroom next.toilet, bedroom 4, bedroom 3, bedroom 2, dining room.
Washing on line....next load on...back to loungeroom,bedrooom 1 and ensuite.
Next load on line , another load in.... vacuum time....clean laundry...
next load on line...new movie(matilda)..
next load....mop floors and its 3.10 pm.

Time to pick up girls.My back is sore thinks Gerty.

Girls in car......no food at home... go to Bilo to get supplies.
Gerty sends Bethy out of car to replenish.
Arrive home... start cooking mince for spaghetti bolognaise.

Seth gets home.... "I have to start work in half an hour Mum." says Seth
(Seth has just been given a horse two days ago. Unfortunately it has not been broken in yet and is a little frisky.
Gerty has been told not to leave little ones alone in back yard with him.
His name is Brego...said with a twirl in your tongue.)

Gerty asks Beth to finish cooking mince whilst she takes Seth to work.

On arrival home Daddy has arrived and everyone is in backyard with frisky Brego...(said with a twirl in your tongue).

Gerty sits with Daddy and have a cuppa..Thanks Bethy...just what I need.. breathed Gerty.

Gerty listens to Daddy... my back is so sore...she thinks to herself

AAAHH.....Yes a nice cuppa...thats what I needed.... she drifts off in her mind....

SCREAMMMMM!!!!!!James is on the ground screaming ...Oh my Lord....

Brego (with a tongue twirl), has stood on James foot.

Gertrude runs in slow motion towards James.Daddy and Gertrude carry him to the house. Gerty reaches for ice and places it on jamesys foot.

"AARGGHHH!"...He shouts, as tears stream down his face.
Gertrude phones hospital to ask casualty for advice.
Whilst waiting on the phone, Missy asks.." Did you pray for him Mummy?"

Gertrude says "yes,,but I will say one out loud... Dear Father, please heal James foot and make him feel better.AMEN"
(She is thinking It is probably broken... the swelling has begun on one toe and his toe is changing to a blue colour.)
At the end of talking to the sister on the phone, Gerty takes off the ice. James has settled down.. in fact he has stopped crying ....she takes another look.

The blue colour is now pink and there is no longer any swelling... No it cant be... surely. Gerty asks James to place his foot on the floor and to wiggle his toes, minutes before he couldnt do that , James not only places his foot down he walks on it.... and then he runs and says "its all better now mummy".
Gerty and daddy look at each other and shrug.

WOW,It has to be a miracle. "It isnt blue anymore "says daddy....it must be.. Do you think God would give us a miracle that easy.Of course the answer is yes yes yes and Amen.
James starts doing laps running through the house ..he is bewildered and amazed by it himself.
What an awesome God you are, says Gerty to her God.

Daddy goes home exhausted.....enough for one day. oh YES..Daddy and Gertrude separated 2 years ealier.

Rhyssy walks in .... he has been spear fishing after work at Stockton Break wall.
5 blackfish( poppy would be proud)....he started to cut them up on the sink. Spaghetti finished. Gerty cooks up potatoes, corn and peas for Rhys...but aargghh...no lemon or cooking oil.

Rhys takes all little people down to bilo.Annie and Jamie smell the food cooking and pull into driveway.I set table and await their return Annie,please dont tell me about Uranus thinks Gerty... Just sit and rub my head ..pleeasse!!

My back is sore....even now she types this on her knees......Everyone returns home and Rhys cooks his fish in breadcrumbs.
We all eat at table and Rhys shares his fish... Yummy ..

Gerty looks at the time as she clears the table it is 8pm and Seth finishes at 9.

My back is sore and I am exhausted.

Gerty decides to make a deal with Rhys. If he picks up Seth she will let him watch his show on t.v.
Deal!!............unfortunately McLeods daughters is on. (little peoples favourite show)SCREAMS.....SHRILL SCREAMS....come from loungeroom.....missy devastated comes in to kitchen... I try to explain the deal I have just made....(and my back is sore)......but missy will not listen ...she sobs over the top of me....but you said we could watch Mcleods daughters she sobs............

aarrrgghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Listen to me missy" says Gerty
.. "NO, YOU SAID WE COULD WATCH" sons Missy........"stop Missy!"....
NO YOU SAID..........stop missy....NO YOU SAID MUM......stop meggy and listen to me ........"NO MUM YOU SAID WE COULD"........"missy I WILL send you to your room if you dont stop."...

"BUT YOU SAID MUM".........."go to your room missy NOW!".........

"IM SORRY MUM," SHE SOBS FROM MY ROOM...."I AM THE SORRIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD" she adds ....

PHONE RINGS.........."SHUT UP MEG!" SAYS RHYS...........Its Gertys girlfriend from Melbourne ......"Have I rung you at a bad time?"......
"if only you knew," thinks Gerty ...(*you should never ever ring because it is always a bad time...who has got time for friends anyway?)...."NO." says Gerty," its not a bad time"

.James and Benny come out ... "Missy said she is sorry and wants to come out...please let her out!" they both say at the same time...

"Is everything o.k?" my friend asks. "Everythings fine", Gerty says...........

"Please let me out", sobs Missy.. and then a shrill scream is heard again from loungeroom .

Benny has stood on James groin and youch!!

I excuse myself from my friend and hang up. Missy has a 3 minute reprieve before bedtime.Just enough to heal the rift.

"Shut up" says Rhys... "I'm trying to listen."

"OK, EVERYBODY.... BEDTIME!!".........SHOUTS GERTY!

Gertrude puts little people to bed. She looks at the time and decides to pick up Seth herself.

She grabs a large tea at the drive thru at Maccas and waits for Seth. I wish I drank coffee and ...oh...my back is sore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On arrival home everyone is in bed. Jamie and Anyerin say goodnight and head off to Jamies.

"Good night", says Seth. "Goodnight Buddy", says Gertrude, as she sits down to write a letter about her day to her best friend and mother Maggie in Saudi Arabia hoping to entice her to come home sooner by sharing a part of her day with her.

Well ....what do you think Maggie....does it make you want to race home?

It is now 1.44 am.. and I think I might call it a day!

Tommorrow will be better... after all tommorrow is another day...isn't it Scarlet?

all my love Gertrude (Jewell )xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(*THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN AS A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JEWELL TO HER MUM WHILE SHE WAS IN SAUDI ARABIA)