Sunday, December 29, 2013

You're a red string tied to my finger......



I am currently writing a fictional romance.  

Here is a teaser of what is to come....


Your'e a red string, tied to my finger
A little love letter I carry with me....The Civil Wars



Almost 7pm....her heart was sore as she looked out on a starry night. 

The Civil Wars played in the background... immediately bringing him back to her.

She wiped the tears from her cheek as she reached for her laptop.
She wondered if anybody could see the beauty of it all.
Her fingers touched the keys ....as she began to share the sonnet that they had become....





Page 1


How could she had known what lay ahead. 

It seemed almost inevitable that they would find each other even though neither one was 
looking. Today's technology made it so easy to connect with people. 
Defenses are more readily lowered when there are not physical barriers present.


She was a lover of Facebook, as a busy Mum on her own, it was a wonderful way to connect

with her children and friends both local and abroad. 
Her life was one of details and it had been that way for many years. 
She sacrificed her life for her children and loved every moment of it.

She would often look back to the times when she had been loved as a woman, but dared not
stay there too long for it was too easy to dwell on what she had lost.
In these times she would take a deep breath, reminding herself of the full and wonderful 
life she had been given.
She had no need of a man in this stage of her life. 
She had been on her own for more than 9 years but longer if you took into 
consideration that most of her marriage there had been the absence of love.

She was a romantic...a passionate woman, whose heart and soul soared when romanced.
She had learnt over many years to shut down that heart, moment by moment, day by day,
much preferring to see to the hearts of others. 
Fulfilling others heart needs seemed a lot easier and so much more sustainable. 

 

She convinced herself that her time was over... that she had had 2 great loves in her life and 
she should be grateful for what she had been given.  
She had often wondered if that passionate, romantic , desirable woman even existed inside 
of her anymore.

Her day had been busy like most days and late at night when the house was still, her 

thoughts took her back to a previous love. 
She wondered what he was doing and where he was? 
Was he married?

As she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror she wondered if he had aged like she had. 
She was maturing gracefully but was no longer the 30 year old girl she had been, when she 
had loved him. 

She washed her face and smoothed cream down her face and neck.
She climbed into bed as memories of those days repeated in her mind...
Maybe Facebook could put her curiosity to sleep. 

She climbed out of bed, turned on the computer and searched for his name. 
Within a few minutes , she found him.
There he was before her.. well sort of . 
His profile picture was from afar but she still recognised him.

His profile was private and this peaked her curiosity.
What could it hurt she thought just to see him.
A fictitious Facebook account?
She could make one in order to see him.

"Once I have seen the pictures I shall delete the account and no one will be any the wiser," she thought out loud.

If she had only known what lay ahead she might have gone back to bed.

With the excitement of a teenage school girl she looked through faces of people, friends of 

friends , until she found a face that he would like. 

Now... for a name.. his favorite name would be the best idea .
Her family surname would be perfect she felt, as she began the process of making a fictitious woman.

 
Her name would be Alexandria Beatson..... A Freelance Journalist ... 
Separated with 3 children ... 
Currently residing in Airlie Beach, QLD.
Alexandria worked from home but travelled with her work.  
Ahhh .. the dream job, a desire that she secretly had herself. 

She loved writing and she thought this would be a bit of fun , pretending to be somebody 
else for a week or so.
She began using Facebook's friend finder ... adding random people from all walks of life to 
make Alexandria's profile look authentic. 

Adding a few pictures. some of which she had borrowed and some she had taken herself, 
she soon filled up her page and sat back to admire her work . 
After a few days her many friend requests were accepted and many more came in . 
Men cannot resist a pretty face she thought to herself. 

 

Alexandria was beautiful... long blonde hair , a tanned toned body, well at least in pictures. 
With over 30 new friends , her page looked authentic.
She was excited as she sent him a friend request... but even as Alexandria , she felt a little 
nervous.
She reminded herself that it was no harm , as she would delete the page as soon as she had 
seen him.

She had no idea that what lay ahead, would change her life and somebody else's life forever.



 photo string_zpsaeb533a1.jpg





Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Keeping my eye on what is fixed before me.....

Tonight, as I prepare for my youngest boys,my twins to go on their first camp , I find myself quite emotional. I have been unusually moody today and I have decided to stop and examine why I am feeling this way. Once again, I find myself, thinking about my children growing up and I am determined to push back the reality of that and just enjoy the time I have with them. Maybe the source of my feeling this way , stems from a fear of being left behind once more. Please don't get me wrong. My heart is full at watching my eldest 4 having grown up and making their own decisions for their lives. I think the problem is that even though I am still raising children, I still have this desire to share my life with someone who loves me as a woman. Not so much for now, but a hope for the future I guess. I continually push back these desires and choose not to look to the left or right, but rather to keep my eyes on what is fixed befoe me, that being raising my children and overall on my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and His will for my life. Every time, I have turned my head to the left or the right, it slows me down and can make me obsessive about something or even someone. I hate it.. its the flesh I am in, I am sure of it. How do I releaase myself from these earthly bonds? How do I stay firm and bring my imaginings into captivity? ....by starving my flesh and feeding my spirit. This can be hard to do on a moment by moment basis. It is imperative that I keep my eyes fixed on Him, in order to stay in this race. The bible says if your hand causes you to sin, then cut it off. Nothing is worth missing the prize by being preoccupied by imaginings, desires and untruths. They can take the place of my Lord and Saviour and that is the last thing I want to happen. Am I even making sense? I guess I am speaking between the lines as I cannot share what is really happening inside me but trying to make sense of it all by sharing an overview of it by getting to the core issues. This walk I am on, can get lonely if I don't stay close to the one I love , that being Jesus. I will hold onto the lover of my soul and cling to Him. He will be my one desire and in Him , I will be fulfilled. Father , I give this desire, as an offering , for all that you have done for me and given me. I will no longer hold on to empty promises of what tomorrow may bring when I serve the Author of time and Eternity. Father uphold me in your heart and draw me closer still until I can feel your very breath upon my face. I know You Won't Relent until You have all of my heart <3  photo 24a07359-1761-4d26-8cd9-8a89e4954bfe_zpsaaeeda87.jpg