My home is so peaceful at the moment....
My mind wanders back to the time that Jesus revealed himself to me .
He had pursued me for many years even though I was completely unaware of it.
This particular night.. happened after weeks of my heart aching. My Nanna had died and I was left with an emptiness and a grief I had never known before. I had been brought up Catholic and knew about Jesus and God .. I knew the story of the cross... and at times I had even felt "goosebumpy" in the church but nothing else.
This night started like any other. I had my little boy,Anyerin who was about 12 months old. I put him in his cot to sleep and spent time in front of the television with my husband John. We then retired for the night and went to bed. I am not sure how long I had been asleep..but soon I began to dream.........
I was walking in a beautiful botanical garden with a friend of my mothers. As we walked we came across life size statues...each statue represented a "station" of the cross. In the Catholic faith , in their churches , the stations of the cross are pictures sharing the last steps of Jesus life. These pictures are designed to allow you to stop and ponder that time and spend time in prayer there.
The first station shows a picture of Jesus standing before Pontious Pilate washing his hands, where He is told he will be condemned to death. The 2nd shows Jesus Carrying His Cross.......
As we walked we came to the 2nd station of the cross. It was there that we rested. In my dream , the greyish statue was life size of Jesus, bent over with the huge cross laying across his back.
His left arm and hand outstretched toward me. As I put my hand in the statues hand I leant on it to rest .I turned my back to the statue and started talking to my Mothers friend.
It seemed such a hot day......
As I was talking , I felt the cold hand of the statue, change to a hot, wet clammy flesh feeling hand....
It felt like time stood still as I turned to see what I was in fact feeling.
I looked into the statues face, blood and tears streaming down his face. It was so beautifully carved ...
With his sweaty hand still in mine , His eyes went from grey stone cement to a BRILLIANT BLUE.
Then I heard the words that I will never forget ...
he whispered these words down deep inside me...........'FOLLOW ME".
I immediatly awoke from my dream still feeling the wetness on my hand. I was crying and shaking. My husband woke up and asked was I alright? I, through tears, explained to him what had just happened.
He rolled his eyes patted my head and told me to go back to sleep. To him .. it was just a dream..but to me, it was life changing.
I lay in bed contemplating what those words really meant. "Follow Me!" ...how do I follow Jesus?
Do I go back to the catholic church?
Where do I look for him?....
How do I even start to follow him?
I lay there gazing at the ceiling making pictures from the chips that were peeling off.
It took a few months until he led me to an advertisement in our local newspaper that said in big letters.."GOD HEALS!"
It was an invitation to come and hear a guest speaker called Ezekiel Choong speak at the Lighthouse Christian Centre.
I felt a flutter in my heart as I really felt this would be a great place to start. That weekend I took my Great Aunty Beryl with me. Safety in numbers I thought ...
Ezekiel Choong was visiting from Asia and he was very hard to understand due to his thick accent. Nevertheless I sat in the service patiently waiting to hear from the one who had spoken those words "Follow Me" and for Him to reveal himself to me. At the end of the night ... Ezekiel gave a call to those who did not know or have a relationship with Jesus to come forward and meet this Saviour that died for us. My heart began beating faster and I knew this was my time... I was ready to meet the one who had called me to "Follow Him". I felt such a drawing of my heart that night ... like a pulling .. a tugging to go and meet Him. As I walked out the front I prayed a prayer with many others who went to meet him for the first time too. I cried and cried and cried as I prayed and surrended my life to Him...
By the end of the night my chest region felt as if it was washed clean... empty... lighter.. they are the only words that can describe the feeling.
23 and a half years have passed since that day that I began "Following Him" .. ..
So many things have happened since then... some good , some bad and others just straight out ugly. There have been times that I have been obedient to him, other times I have walked the opposite way... some times I have shamed him and other times I have sensed his heart bursting as he applauded and cheered my choices.
Through it all ... regardless of my choices and actions...one thing never changed.
His love for me has never ceased ... He has never stopped pursuing me ... He has never stopped wooing me to "Follow Him".
He has romanced me until I have had no other recourse but to fall in love with Him over and over again.
I now know the One in Whom I trust... .
He offers you and I love , love and more love. No matter where we are in our journey of life , know that He is crazy about us. He is totally undone by His love for us.
